If you are a shy or introverted person, then networking must seem very daunting.
If you are an extroverted person, then networking must seem very daunting.
It doesn't matter what you personality type really is, this event is a tad bit weird at times.
But why?
The weirdness comes from a lack of understanding.
I remember when I landed my first ever co-operative business job, my manager pulled me to the side.
He said:
'Tony. If you ever want to become a somebody in this company, then you need to network. You need to shake hands with the right people.'
Being an eager 23 year old, I was excited to put his advice into execution.
The next few weeks, I went to tons of networking events.
Found the higher ups, sucked up to them & was desperately hoping that they liked me.
But you know what I noticed?
There were tons of other 23 year old's doing the same strategy as me.
I ended up being involved in an interaction with 3 other managers & my good friend Ron.
And as we were talking in the conversation, we were both being completely fake.
Both of us knew each other for years!
But in this interaction? Both of us seemed unrecognizable to one another.
Very weird.
Years later, I understand why networking felt so weird.
It was because Jon & I were coming from a place of lower value.
And when you come from a place of lower value, you try to take before you give.
Ron & I were both kissing their ass because we thought we would get ahead.
By thinking that we were going to get ahead, we exited the present moment & began operating with an end game in mind.
This made us enter each interaction with a vibe of desperation.
We were both the 'nice guys' of networking world.
And believe it or not, you may fall into this boat.
'Nah dude, I don't kiss anyone's ass. Not my style.'
Okay. But are you that person who passes out their business cards like they pass out flyers?
'Uh... yea.'
Well, then you are coming from a place of desperation. You are entering the interaction to take.
It's time to flip your mindset.
You need to understand that networking does have frameworks.
Even though the school system did not teach you this, it is critical for you to master.
And mastering it will automatically place you above 95% of the people who go to these events.
'So what is the secret bro??'
You provide 3x more value than you take.
Give so much that it makes them feel awkward for turning you down when you take.
'Huh? How am I going to do that? What if I am a newbie engineer in a group of CEOs?'
You give value.
'How? I don't have anything.'
Ya you do.. You have your primal resources.
'Can you elaborate?'
Sure.
When you are below status in terms of money, resources & position to a CEO, then you give them what they truly desire.
Their true desire is to be made to feel important.
You do that by:
listening to them
asking them questions
giving genuine compliments
laughing when they said something funny.
These 4 actions appeal to their primal side.
Higher ups don't care if you give them money.
Why do you think they wanted to be higher ups in the first place?
It was so they could be made to feel important.
'But doesn't that mean I am ass kissing?'
No.
'How so?'
Because you are doing it with your compassion, not with the desire to get ahead.
Heck, you are going to be acting this way with the janitor, the interns, the lady serving you soda etc.
By making this a lifestyle & not an act, you change your mindset.
You are no longer putting on this persona to get ahead. You are genuinely providing value by appealing to others primal desire.
When you do that for long enough, you often don't even have to ask for anything. THEY will offer.
They will wonder how they can help you.
At that point, you have invested so much into the rapport building phase, that you have solidified a bond out of nowhere.
Once you leave the interaction, they are going to be amazed by how you said so little, but impacted so much.
You stop being awkward when you stop being desperate.
You stop being desperate when you stop trying to take before you give.
But when you give before you take, the desperation turns into calmness.
You know whats yours is coming.
So you sit back & relax.
Apply this tip the next time you go to a networking event.
Take all the pressure off yourself & see if you like them.
See if you like them by having them explain themselves to you. You'll end up making them feel important along the way.
Then you can leave the interaction with a brand new social bond.
If you are someone who is struggling to feel confident in social interactions, then I may know why.
But I can't give you that why until I talk to you.
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