Una introducción necesaria
Con el oído atento y escuchando las reacciones y criterios abordados en esa minitertulia, decidí dejar este trabajo sobre las personas con las que me cuesta relacionarme. Espero que, si me lee hasta el final y lo considera necesario, me deje sus opiniones en torno al tema.
¿Con qué tipo de personas me cuesta entablar una relación?
Hay un punto de la vida en el que uno deja de negociar con ciertas energías. No por arrogancia, sino por salud emocional. Con el tiempo he descubierto que me cuesta relacionarme con personas hipócritas, irresponsables o de doble cara porque representan exactamente aquello que intento no permitir en mi propio camino: la incoherencia entre lo que se dice y lo que se hace.
La hipocresía me incomoda porque rompe la posibilidad de construir confianza. Una persona que actúa según la conveniencia del momento, que adapta su discurso para agradar o manipular, me obliga a estar en alerta constante. Y yo ya no quiero vivir en modo defensa. La vida es demasiado corta para invertir energía en descifrar intenciones ocultas o en vigilar palabras que no coinciden con los hechos. La hipocresía es, en esencia, una forma de deshonestidad emocional, y yo valoro profundamente la transparencia, incluso cuando duele.
La irresponsabilidad, por su parte, me distancia porque revela una falta de compromiso con uno mismo y con los demás. No hablo solo de llegar tarde o incumplir tareas; hablo de quienes no asumen las consecuencias de sus actos, quienes siempre encuentran un culpable externo, quienes viven en un eterno yo no fui o quienes siempre están buscando el lado fácil de las cosas. Relacionarme con personas así me agota porque siento que termino cargando pesos que no me corresponden. Y he aprendido , a veces tarde, a veces a golpes,que no es mi misión rescatar a quien no quiere sostenerse porque en ese proceso voy perdiendo fuerzas y energías necesarias para sostener mi propia vida.
Pero quizás lo que más me cuesta tolerar es la doble cara. Esa habilidad casi teatral de mostrar una versión amable en público y otra hiriente en privado. Esa capacidad de sonreír mientras se clava el puñal por la espalda. La doble cara destruye vínculos porque convierte la relación en un terreno inestable, donde nunca se sabe cuál versión del otro aparecerá. Y yo necesito coherencia, no perfección. Necesito saber que la persona que tengo delante es la misma cuando nadie la observa.
Con el tiempo he comprendido que mi rechazo hacia estos comportamientos no nace del juicio, sino de la protección. Me cuido porque sé lo que me ha costado construir mi paz. Me cuido porque he aprendido a valorar la autenticidad, la palabra firme, la responsabilidad afectiva. Me cuido porque ya no quiero relaciones que me obliguen a justificar lo injustificable o a aceptar migajas emocionales.
Un comentario final
Relacionarme con personas auténticas, responsables y transparentes me permite crecer, confiar y ser yo mismo sin máscaras. Por eso, cuando detecto hipocresía, irresponsabilidad o doble cara, simplemente tomo distancia. No desde el rencor, sino desde la madurez de saber que no todo el mundo merece un asiento en mi mesa emocional.
¿Que piensa usted?
Nota: Utilicé el traductor DeepL Translate.
Las fotos las tomé de Pixabay.
ENGLISH
A Necessary Introduction
Two days ago, while we were waiting at home to watch the start of the World Cup knockout stage, my wife was talking about a supposed friend who had been exposed for having characteristics very different from her true self. She said it had affected her because she had thought this person was her friend, but upon learning about the situation, she realized that she wasn't.
With a keen ear and listening to the reactions and opinions discussed in that brief conversation, I decided to write this piece about the people I find it difficult to connect with. I hope that, if you read to the end and feel it's necessary, you'll share your thoughts on the topic.
What kind of people do I find it difficult to connect with?
There comes a point in life when you stop engaging with certain types of people. Not out of arrogance, but for the sake of your emotional well-being. Over time, I've discovered that I struggle to connect with hypocritical, irresponsible, or two-faced people because they represent precisely what I try to avoid in my own life: the inconsistency between words and actions.
Hypocrisy makes me uncomfortable because it destroys the possibility of building trust. A person who acts according to the convenience of the moment, who adapts their words to please or manipulate, forces me to be constantly on guard. And I no longer want to live in defensive mode. Life is too short to waste energy deciphering hidden intentions or policing words that don't match actions. Hypocrisy is, in essence, a form of emotional dishonesty, and I deeply value transparency, even when it hurts.
Irresponsibility, on the other hand, alienates me because it reveals a lack of commitment to oneself and others. I'm not just talking about being late or failing to complete tasks; I'm talking about those who don't take responsibility for their actions, who always find someone else to blame, who live in a perpetual "it wasn't me," or who are always looking for the easy way out. Being around people like that exhausts me because I feel like I end up carrying burdens that aren't mine to bear. And I've learned, sometimes late, sometimes the hard way, that it's not my job to rescue those who don't want to stand on their own two feet, because in that process I lose the strength and energy I need to sustain my own life.
But perhaps what I find hardest to tolerate is two-facedness. That almost theatrical ability to show a kind version in public and a hurtful one in private. That capacity to smile while stabbing someone in the back. Two-facedness destroys relationships because it turns them into unstable ground, where you never know which version of the other person will emerge. And I need consistency, not perfection. I need to know that the person in front of me is the same when no one is watching.
Over time, I've come to understand that my rejection of these behaviors stems not from judgment, but from protection. I take care of myself because I know how hard I've worked to build my peace. I take care of myself because I've learned to value authenticity, firm words, and emotional responsibility. I take care of myself because I no longer want relationships that force me to justify the unjustifiable or accept emotional crumbs.
A final comment
Connecting with authentic, responsible, and transparent people allows me to grow, trust, and be myself without masks. That's why, when I detect hypocrisy, irresponsibility, or duplicity, I simply distance myself. Not out of resentment, but from the maturity of knowing that not everyone deserves a seat at my emotional table.
What do you think?
Note: I used DeepL Translate.
I took the photos from Pixabay.
