So it's this beautiful month of February again and I think I am really just happy...
Normally I am really a reserved person, I don't enjoy dwelling on myself and all but I have decided to indulge myself very much till my birthday.. 21 is not gonna come again.. Lol
I will enjoy counting down to my birthday with as much writing as I can do and I don't think I will hold back when I decide on what to do to indulge myself.
It might be an appreciation series or random stories from my life, I am not even sure but for today I will dwell on the reason I am alive and well and happy.
God.
It's been a whole journey with God. One with many lessons, some tearful and painful times and some amazing and beautiful times.
I think it was somewhere in Secondary school God stopped being abstract to me but it was more in the University that I started to understand the reality of a relationship with God.
I got to understand that God wasn't just one Lord far above that I could never connect with, that He wasn't unreachable, I realised he was not just God but he was my Father and friend and guide and love. I discovered that no matter how far I run, how many times I fall, life simply is meaningless without him.
My brother taught me a quote by a St Augustine and I dont think I could ever forget it. He said because our hearts were made for God, we will not find rest until we rest in him. This has been the story of my life.
Many times, I questioned whether it was worth it, I questioned why I had to make so many hard decisions because of God. Sometimes it felt like a cage, it felt like I was punishing myself and I could never meet up to the standard that I was meant to live up to.
I still have some of these debates, I still fall short many times, but I think I have settled one thing in my heart and that is no matter how promising and beautiful ways apart from God seems, it's only God that make my life whole and fill the void in my heart. I settled that there would always be a void without God. Nothing and no one can take his place.
He has been too faithful to me, He has loved me beyond what I deserve, protected me when I was even unaware and when I had been away from his presence He never gave up on me. He had always been the light at the end of my darkness.
So Father, for the awesome new year I thank you, I give you honor and glory and adoration. You alone are responsible for the wondrous things in my life, for life itself and the beautiful people you have surrounded me with I am grateful.
In counting down to 21, I can look back and say it has really all been God.
And yes, my anthology will be completed in this beautiful month!! Phoenix T21 will be ready to fly!!!
©Onashile Peace (tolarnee)
1/2/2018