First, I want to say your wife is amazing. I meet many couples, and it's sad to see when a husband feels he has to hide smoking a joint from his wife. Why hide something that can't harm you, only make you feel relaxed and peaceful? I'm not sure why it's considered better to drink alcohol and be loud instead. But yes, mushrooms can bring back memories. I tried them about 15 years ago, and I remember the world around me being colorful and peaceful. I felt connected to my body and didn't have any negative feelings. I was just sitting on the grass with my closest friend, enjoying the colors of the world. But because of my epilepsy, I'm scared to try them again. I never know how my anxiety might react. Just so you know, thanks for sharing your story and memories. It's hard to open up to someone, but it's nice to have the opportunity to talk freely. You've been through a lot. Stay strong! 💪