I remind myself there are days when life just throws random things so absurd at me I don’t even know what kind of face to wear unconditionally,
I remind myself that sometimes I can also stand there frozen—whether should I laugh, should I cry, should I curse the world for being so unfair,
I remind myself anger doesn’t fix anything, sadness only makes it heavier, dragging me down into the mud with nobody to hold on to,
I remind myself sometimes the only medicine left is to let out a laugh, any kind of laugh , even if it sounds cracked, even if it’s trembling to your bones.
I confess I used to think bitterness was a proof I was paying attention, that if I frowned and fought hard enough where I thought I was wiser,
I confess I thought sadness made me deep with my emotions, that being serious meant I cared more than those who could still smile,
I confess I carried grief like it was a badge of honor, but how I admitted it only carved more weight into my chest unknowingly,
I confess I forgot that humor is not a denial form of acceptance—it’s survival, it’s breath when everything else feels suffocating.
I believe the ones before us weren’t just old men shaking their fists at the sky, writing good books to read, speaking in front of the crowds
I believe they laughed even at what should have broken them, they found that hiding inside despair, hiding inside every pain will never make us better
I believe they knew rage burns itself out, sorrow floods itself to drowning, pain keeps us bitter but laughter—it leaves you standing lighter,
I believe humor is not mocking life, it’s choosing not to let life mock you, it’s saying “I’m still here, I won’t break any of it.”
So I choose to grin at the mess I’ve made, even when my heart is shaking, despite of all the mess that came in front of me
So I choose to find the ridiculous in the ruins, because despair already took enough from me, pain makes me uneasy having hard time to forget
So I choose to laugh with tears still on my cheeks, because both can live together in the same body, and at the same time accept and move on with life even with pain
So I choose to keep joy alive, not because life is easy, but because without joy the weight would crush even my dreams more than I can imagine…
Watchwords
Laugh even if the laugh trembles your body
Bitterness is not proof of depth but a proof of pain
Humor just a survival in disguise
Tears and laughter can live together
Here is Tikatarot, who dares you to answer the question, “Who am I?”..
As and will always be reminding you to dream:
