Strength Gathers In Strain

I choose first, before the world chooses for me through habits, invitations, noise and whatever shouts loudest nearby,
I choose first, because drifting once felt harmless, and until I saw how years can disappear unnoticed,
I choose first, knowing that a life without purpose still moves forward, but often circles the same insatiable hunger,
I choose first, am I deciding my direction or borrowing one again today,
I choose first, and the fog within my mind begins to disperse beyond what my thoughts can comprehend…

I set my sights on my target, with trembling honesty, because vague wishes have kept me occupied and unchanged for far too long,
I set my sights on my target, though a part of me dreads clarity because it eliminates my excuses to remain untouched,
I set my sights on my target, understanding desire becomes sharper once I stop pretending to want everything,
I set my sights on my target, am I brave enough to want one thing too deeply,
I set my sights on my target, and my longing finally knows where to stand…

I draw back, in the quiet way that effort demands when no applause accompanies the first success,
I draw back, resisting the urge to release too soon, just to escape the tension of pure preparation and focusing on foundation,
I draw back, because patience can often be more painful than failure during the initial stages of building,
I draw back, wondering if I’m honoring the process or rushing to find relief one more time,
I draw back, and strength gathers where strain once resided…

I shall release now, not when I feel perfect, but when the delay begins to masquerade as pure caution,
I shall release now, accepting some failure must be taken with shaking hands with partial certainty,
I shall release now, because movement reveals what planning conceals from me, protects me from,
I shall release now, can I miss it knowingly, honestly instead of waiting beautifully,
I shall release now, and the distance between failure and success widens after taking action and never giving up…

Watchwords:
The fog starts separating
Longing learns where to stand
Strength gathers in strain
Miss honestly waiting beautifully
Distance opens after action