I admit I do not know, and there is something humbling about realizing that uncertainty does not mean I am incapable of moving but simply that I have not reached the part where the answer to certain doors can be seen,
I admit I do not know, resisting the old habit of filling the silence with conclusions because an empty space of random stuff makes me feel as though I am falling behind,
I admit I do not know, allowing myself to remain inside the question without immediately converting it into a demand for certainty for answers,
I admit I do not know, and I am beginning to understand that strength does not always look like certainty; sometimes it looks like staying open while the answer takes shape,
I admit I do not know, and the pressure to have an answer begins to loosen, until I understand that I do not become weaker by leaving the question open; I become strong enough to let the answer find me…
I notice what appears, when I stop forcing myself toward one particular destination in mind and become available to the unexpected things happening along the way,
I notice what appears, a connection I had not planned, a possibility I nearly dismissed, a direction that would never have occurred to me if I had been too busy protecting the original idea,
I notice what appears, because discovery requires enough looseness for something unfamiliar to enter without immediately being rejected by the mind that thought it already knew,
I notice what appears, what have I been too focused along my own path on finding to recognize what is already trying to show itself,
I notice what appears, and the work becomes wider than my intention, until I realize that some of the most meaningful parts were never planned; they emerged because I finally learned to notice them…
I let myself wander, not into avoidance but into the kind of movement where one thought touches another and suddenly I am somewhere I could not have reached by taking the straightest route,
I let myself wander, trusting that not every productive hour looks productive while it is happening, but very bit of mundane tasks are part of something along the way,
I let myself wander, because sometimes the mind needs enough freedom to make connections that obedience to a fixed destination would have prevented,
I let myself wander, can I tell the difference between losing direction and discovering another one, and still willing to go through even the toughest times,
I let myself wander, and something unexpected begins connecting the scattered pieces, and I discover that sometimes the path makes more sense after I stop demanding that every step explain itself…
I follow what changed me, bringing back what I found without needing to pretend that the detour was part of my original plan all along.
I follow what changed me, less interested in proving that I was right and more interested in seeing what the experience has changed in the work and in me,
I follow what changed me, accepting that the best discoveries sometimes arrive disguised as mistakes, interruptions, wrong turns, or moments when I thought I had lost my way,
I follow what changed me, can I trust what I learned in each and every phases of my life even if I cannot yet explain why it matters, why am I here and why some certain door closes,
I follow what changed me, and the path looks different because I have changed while walking it, until I understand that the greatest detours do not take us away from the path; they change the eyes with which we know where the path leads…
Watchwords:
Uncertainty does not mean incapable
The pressure to have an answer
The work becomes wider than intention
Something unexpected begins connecting
The path looks different because I changed
Here is Tikatarot, who dares you to answer the question, “Who am I?”..
As and will always be reminding you to dream:
