I catch the yearning, I notice how my mind keeps reaching for something bigger, as if this moment isn’t enough to hold me,
I catch the yearning, I see how I postponed peace as if it were something earned after achievement, and then questioned why relief never stayed,
I catch the yearning, I confess I’ve fed myself fantasies like sugar, sweet in the moment and hollow after, quietly training my heart to crave more than it can hold,
I catch the yearning, is this craving helping me live or quietly stealing the life I’m already in,
I catch the yearning, I return my focus to what is real and remain with it without rushing ahead…
I envy the imagined, I feel how comparison drains the color from the present when I hold it up to a dream still unearned,
I envy the imagined, I admit I chase the feeling of “soon,” like the promise of later is more comforting than the honesty of the “now”,
I envy the imagined, I confess that longing can feel refined and almost noble, yet it quietly steals appreciation from the life already in my hands,
I envy the imagined, am I willing to release the version of life I keep polishing in my head and engage with the one in front of me,
I envy the imagined, I soften my grip and let just today be enough…
I choose what quietly sustains me, I notice happiness isn’t loud for me, it’s quiet and steady, and my restless side keeps mistaking quiet for lack,
I choose what quietly sustains me, I admit I’ve treated contentment like complacency, as if constant wanting were proof of ambition, even when that wanting made me sharp and impatient,
I choose what quietly sustains me, I see how I’ve traded steadiness for significance, and the tension settles into my shoulders long after the moment passes,
I choose what quietly sustains me, is my drive building my life or just feeding a hunger that never ends,
I choose what quietly sustains me, I let contentment breathe through me and call that quiet steadiness my strength…
I’ve stopped bargaining with myself, I recognize how I made peace conditional, as though it had to be purchased with progress,
I’ve stopped bargaining with myself, I confess I delayed tenderness in the name of responsibility, and then wondered why life felt dry,
I’ve stopped bargaining with myself, I confess the hardest part is accepting that nothing is missing in this moment except my willingness to be here,
I’ve stopped bargaining with myself, can I quit negotiating with life and simply live it today,
I’ve stopped bargaining with myself, I settle into the present and stay, and let that decision anchor everything else…
Watchwords:
Tomorrow feels like where life begins,
I fed myself fantasies like sugar,
Longing makes me ungrateful in secret,
My drive feeds a hunger that ends,
I settle into the present and stay,
Here is Tikatarot, who dares you to answer the question, “Who am I?”..
As and will always be reminding you to dream:
