I Endure What Arrives

I choose calmer ground, I admit I used to confuse constant strain with purpose, as if a peaceful day meant I was wasting my life or failing to prove something I don’t know yet,
I choose calmer ground, noticing how my body still braces by habit, waiting for trouble as if it’s owed to me, clinging to a tension that once felt familiar,
I choose calmer ground, confessing how I stayed in mess longer than I needed to, because predictability felt safer than meeting myself in uncertain places,
I choose calmer ground, am I willing to stop feeding the version of me that only feels real when she is struggling,
I choose calmer ground, keeping the day uncomplicated, and staying present instead of scattering myself…
I choose calmer ground, seeing how often I reached for conflict to prove I was awake, mistrusting ease as undeserved,

I release my appetite for chaos, looking back to see how often I stepped into conflict just to feel alive, as if calm were suspicious and had to be endured and earned through pain,
I release my appetite for chaos, I notice how complaint has been my reflex, like talking about what’s “still missing” keeps me from doing what’s right in front of me,
I release my appetite for chaos, asking why I keep fighting inwardly when what I’m curious about, what I’m meant to do, may already be just standing in front of me,
I release my appetite for chaos, and sit with quiet long enough to feel it—until it stops asking to be escaped and starts asking to be trusted…

I endure what arrives, I accept that hard circumstances will still come even without my consent, and I don’t need to invite extra trouble to feel extra prepared,
I endure what arrives, admitting how often I’ve fought what is, believing my anger could bend the moment into a different shape of reality,
I endure what arrives, I notice strength feels different when it’s quiet, when it’s just me doing the next small thing even with trembling hands,
I endure what arrives, can I face what is difficult without making it the only story I tell about myself…

I protect my peace, aware that stillness can feel confronting, because it asks me to listen to what I’ve been avoiding.
I protect my peace, aware of how easily I turn to noise and distraction to avoid the weight of my own responsibility to what I’m meant to do,
I protect my peace, confessing how often I treated it as unimportant instead of intentional, and how long I delayed choosing it,
I protect my peace, am I brave enough to be steady even when no one claps and even if nothing feels exciting,
I protect my peace, choosing steadiness and letting my life be the proof…

Watchwords:
I choose calmer ground, I let the day be simple
I stop chasing storms, I sit with quiet
I endure what arrives, I keep moving
I protect my peace, I choose steadiness
Predictability felt safer than meeting myself