I do not know whether I came to this before or after a friend of mine who passed visited me in a dream. I was angry with him for "pretending" to die. So, I accosted him and demanded to know the secret to what was life the universe and everything.

He answered in a fashion similar to how he would in waking life and replied mathematical equations. I was like mathematical equations, and he repeated the phrase “mathematical equations.”

This was about five years after the original matrix movie came out, and I started to see equations or numbers fall out of the sky. Everything began to fade to blackness, and the dream experience concluded.

It was before or after that vision when I surmised we are the sum of our life experiences, we are unique mathematical equations, and that external feedback we get from life plays an influence on how we act, or how we react to various different scenarios or stimuli.

I do not think this makes us entirely devoid of free will, but the assertion is hard to disprove, I can see arguments for both in there. It's similar to the nature vs. nurture argument, and I think the winner of that is they both play a factor.

Since that dream, I have sought the meaning behind mathematical equations, call it confirmation bias or whatever. It's interesting the types of things I've run into. Like how theoretical physicist Dr. James Gates discovered error correcting computer code in the mathematical models used to describe the universe, that one was pretty eye-opening to me.

If determinism is the reality of our experience, then maybe all we are doing is watching futuristic movies? Perhaps one day, when people die, their brains will be harvested by conquest or consent and archived for people to observe, and learn from. Or maybe if you are poor, you’ll sign a form donating your brain at death. This, in exchange for enough money to live a happy life.

"Did you have a good world when you died?
Enough to base a movie on?" – Jim Morrison

"Once upon a time, I, Zhuang Zhou, dreamt I was a butterfly, fluttering hither and thither, to all intents and purposes a butterfly. I was conscious only of my happiness as a butterfly, unaware that I was Zhou. Soon I awaked, and there I was, veritably myself again. Now I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly, dreaming I am a man." – Zhuang Zhou