[TL;DR] Positive psychology works, focus on what you want to happen and how to make it happen and you'll go further than if you focus on avoiding obstacles/conflict.
Have any of you ridden a motorcycle?
If you have, you know that, where your eyes are looking - that's where you're going. So when you're making a zero-point turn, you're looking over your shoulder at a point on the horizon where you're wanting to go, not the ground. If you look at the ground, you're laying that motorcycle over!
Simon Sinek said it best when he pointed out that the human mind cannot comprehend the negative. It excludes the "don't" at the beginning of a statement and only focuses on what comes after. So for the motorcyclist, if he's thinking "don't lay the bike over, don't end up on the ground" - all his brain is hearing is "lay the bike over, end up on the ground."
Now, apply that to your life, your relationships, and your goals. If you're going through life thinking "I don't want to fail... don't be such a jerk... don't hurt your SO... don't ________" you're creating a mental atmosphere where those things are MORE likely to happen because they are what you're focusing on!
So, when it comes to setting goals - whether personal, relational, or professional - focus on the things that you WANT to happen and HOW you're going to get there, not the obstacles that you want to "avoid." Doing so gives you a growth-oriented mindset and a positive goal to direct your mental energy towards - essentially a solution/opportunity focus rather than a problem/failure focus.
I hope that this helps someone out there. The power of your mind is real, and when directed effectively, it can allow you to live and experience so much more of the good things in life and keep you hungry and searching for new opportunities. Thank you for reading, my new friends. Stay thoughtful.