Ahh I know the feeling I've been in a "hole" myself for a while😞

Though I guess here my answer to one of your questions: It's okay to not use your free time for productivity and use it for yourself. You're not a machine that needs to constantly be productive

But yes definitely don't concentrate on digital numbers because their not a measurement of your worth

Ahh I'm not sure what else to say since I'm not good with words so I leave you a hug and a heart hugs❤