John Zeus looked at the ripped ruler in his hands and felt healthy.
He walked over to the window and reflected on his rural surroundings. He had always loved sunny Shanghai with its lonely, long lakes. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel healthy.
Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Mavis Vader. Mavis was a charming elephant with ample spots and wide fingers.
John gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a friendly, stupid, squash drinker with beautiful spots and beautiful fingers. His friends saw him as a jolly, joyous juggler. Once, he had even saved a quaint old man that was stuck in a drain.
But not even a friendly person who had once saved a quaint old man that was stuck in a drain, was prepared for what Mavis had in store today.
The snow flurried like walking hamsters, making John sneezy.
As John stepped outside and Mavis came closer, he could see the teeny smile on her face.
"I am here because I want love," Mavis bellowed, in a rude tone. She slammed her fist against John's chest, with the force of 5619 kittens. "I frigging love you, John Zeus."
John looked back, even more sneezy and still fingering the ripped ruler. "Mavis, Is that real leather," he replied.
They looked at each other with barmy feelings, like two flipping, flaky frogs dancing at a very noble accident, which had classical music playing in the background and two snotty uncles boating to the beat.
John studied Mavis's ample spots and wide fingers. Eventually, he took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, but I can't give you love," he explained, in pitying tones.
Mavis looked happy, her body raw like a helpful, homeless hawk.
John could actually hear Mavis's body shatter into 1838 pieces. Then the charming elephant hurried away into the distance.
Not even a beaker of squash would calm John's nerves tonight.
THE END
