So I was at this indigenous conference with a friend. The speaker was phenomenal. A native neuroscientist that intersects with food sovereignty and health. Good stuff. It was a normal evening. Then the presenter opened the floor for questions. I'm glad there was a witness for what I experienced next. A man gets the mic and begins talking. His voice amplified makes a wave of grief and nausea come over me. I began to dry heave. Violently. It felt like it was ripping through me. I had to cry. I looked at my friend. I said "It's too much I have to get up." He finishes speaking. I return to my seat. All better. I asked my friend "Did you see that? What was that?" She said "You're sensitive. It's a sign go talk to him. He needs healing" So I go and introduce myself as a healer if he wants to talk. Don't know about what. He was very guarded and said "Thanks I'll think about it." I return to my seat. I say "What is wrong? Is he gonna die?" and my friend says "Let it go". I know he needs help. Then later he approaches me and says "Sure let's talk". It is a tiptoe as it always is trying to introduce myself as an interfaith healer synesthate. This time seemed more so and important. He loves Jesus. My grandpa was a preacher. We're good. He accepts. I read him. His heart feels like it's being crushed with grief to the point of a heart attack. It makes me sick and sad. We talk. He says his mother died and she was the world to him but he was being strong. Had not cried. He was a sweet guy, but a tough man's man. So we talked and this vision came to me to tell him. There's 3 old guys sitting on a curb outside a biker bar and one is crying. 3 young guys walk up and talk smack about it. One of the old guys say "Hey man his mom died, have some respect!" The second guy echoes the first. Then the young guys genuinely apologize. My point being, if you can imagine some gnarly badasses having compassion for strangers, be a man and have compassion for yourself. Respect your mother and your health or the grief will give you a heart attack. Feel it and live for your kid, whom he mentioned. Teach him it's ok for a man to feel love and grief for his mom. That is strength and honesty. Don't lie about your feelings to yourself. It can kill you. He cried. I felt an energetic plug pop and drain. We could both breathe. The pressure released from his chest, my chest, the room. The grief was acknowledged and releasing. I didn't feel sick from him anymore. I hope he is healing and passing the wisdom to his male friends. Not crying is killing men. Ahhhh. There. Doesn't that feel better? And please, turn down the volume. Some of us are sensitive. Your spirits are screaming. The silence is deafening.
