grief is a very personal thing and one can never fully prescribe to another how to deal with it. when offering comfort words always sound so banal in my mouth and to my ears.
i have lost a son too young and all I know is that what you have said about suppressing feelings is 100% true.... one MUST accept it and let it flow, well at any rate that is my experience.
as you say, life is short so we need to live the moment ... we never know which is the last.
Namaste