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There are times in life when someone promises to help you with something very important at a future date and because the matter means the world to you, you start cling on to this promise as a source of hope. However, as the problem gets bigger, and desperation sets in, you start feeling the need to remind or encourage the person to hurry with the promise.
A desperate need for cash or a pressing concern, makes it natural for a desperate individual to recall on promised help. Any new difficulty simply means the promised help is now even more pressing and this could cause much anxiety causing this desperate person to approach the promiser on numerous occasions.
Your intention might only be to remind them, but that might not be how it comes across, to the individual who has made a promise. What you might see as a simple gentle reminder could actually turn out to be perceived as you being demanding, impatient or even desperate. This person may feel you are no longer patiently waiting for the promised help.
Here is where many go wrong. Rather than allow him to do what he promised with what is available to him during the said time, such persons resort to calling many times a day, sending text messages day and night. In their desperation, they may not shy away from even explaining how they have been suffering and the great pain they are in, as help delayed means problems continues and hoping their cry would prick the conscience and leads to quicker response.
This kind of behavior could make things get worse. A person who was willing to help initially may start getting annoyed by the constant nagging about what was promised. He may even begin having thoughts that may not want him to lend that help to you, purely out of annoyance and not necessarily because of inability to help. You may just be converting willingness into unwanted obligation.
Remember that this promised helper has also a life to lead. They have their own share of troubles to shoulder, finances to meet and duties to fulfill. Moreover, if they have stipulated a future time for help, there’s possibly a reason for doing so.
When you have a bigger problem that requires more immediate attention you should find other means to deal with the problem rather than relying solely on the promise. If someone says he will help you next week, thank him then and continue to keep working out the challenge. Don't stop thinking how you will bridge this time gap until he comes to your aid.
Desperation often leads one to do things that the sober minded would normally avoid. A calm individual could instantly turn into someone driven by anxiety during an unbearable situation. Thoughts like "if only my friend could give me the cash now" take centre stage and this often becloud the reality that that help being offered is in essence a favour.
There is nothing wrong in discussing matters of urgency with the helper, especially where clarity is needed but making their life a hell over a promised future help or asking continuously should certainly be avoided. There’s a difference between making enquiries and harassing.
It's best some times to say thank you and wait. When the due date arises without a delivery of help, a polite enquiry might be then warranted. Up till then, let there be some space. Don't bother your helper out of sheer desperation.
