I've made an ERP for work. It has deadlines for the tasks and notifies me if a task expired or expires in the next few days.

I have lists over lists in different places

That is a big problem. You should only have at most two different place to collect your tasks. I have the digital (our ERP) and a paper based and I only use the paper for temporary storage and quick notes. Everything goes digital at the daily sorting. The digital version has advanced searching sorting so I can focus on the things in the correct order. Tasks,subtasks,flows and schedules, and automations where they fit.