The pandemic finally caught up to me...
I didn't catch the Rona, but the stress of everything has finally taken its toll on my psyche and I've fallen into yet another rut of stress and depression...
I want to write something meaningful but can't seem to find the words. I want to feel something meaningful but can't seem to find a muse. I just figured I'd let anyone who cares know that I'm still here, despite not wanting to be.
I've let my depression and the stresses of everyday life ruin opportunities and relationships yet again, and I don't know how many more times this can happen before I just give up trying.
I feel an impending doom, but am unable to muster the will to run away. I feel consumed by a wave of anxiety and stresses that I know deep down I only exacerbate unnecessarily. I've always been my own worst enemy.
I have a few ideas of things I could be writing about rather than sitting here crying, but every time I put my hands to the keys, my brain freezes up and nothing gets done. I just can't seem to motivate myself to do what I know needs to be done.
I don't know where I'm going with any of this, I just felt I had to get some words out of my head, but I won't be collecting rewards for crying.
If you can relate, just know you're not alone. I know it's a struggle to get out of bed when you want so badly to die in your sleep, but today might be the day everything turns around, so we've got to at least try while we're here.