I've had a very lacking amount of both for nearly a year, and I largely blame recent events, and the turmoil that my life had devolved to. I won't entirely blame outside forces for all of it, and the story of my downfall may be one that I eventually share here, though I'm not quite ready for that yet.
For anyone who's followed me, you might know shit used to pour out of me. I wrote about all kinds of things, and with much jubilance if I do say so myself. For a while now, though, I've just not felt it. The depression I've written about before has had me by the balls, and I'm not okay with it.
I've been overwhelmed, over-worked, overly stressed, and overly tired. If I find time to sit at my desk, the words just don't flow like they would, and my faucet has felt clogged.
Who makes Drano for life?
Part of me yearns to find a way back to the hustle that led me to ignore everything around me, but the rest understands the part that all consuming behavior played in my fall from grace. Balance has never been my forte, but I know it'll be crucial if I'm ever to feel the warm glow of the happy life I've spent nearly 32 searching for.
but life is very much like a game of chess. If you don't take your time and think very carefully about what you're doing, you're much more likely to make a bad move that forces your next five to be damage control.
Once a vase has been shattered, it's very hard to put back together, but not entirely impossible. Hope has rarely been kind to me, but without it, I probably wouldn't be writing this...
It ain't much goin' on, but that's where I belong because some of them days be Shiny Diamonds
