...point of view
I am standing outside my bedroom balcony with my new addiction in a white large mug and as the aroma of the strongest black coffee hits my nose, a memory replays in my head.
For a minute, I smile with confusion and my disbelief escapes my lips in form of a huge NO.
After checking who heard me letting my resistance known to whomever or whatever, I whisper a quick thank you to the universe for saving me from embarrassment, again and sink into my weak knees while sliding down the rails keeping me from that five-storey building fall.
...the green sea flowing towards the valley
...the memory
Sometimes at the beginning of last year and maybe a bit longer before that, I had this reoccurring dream. It always started with me calling somewhere else home and me frequenting this place so much.
This was strange because I have never wanted to be home (my grandfather's) due to some unresolved conflicts that exist to this day. My love for the man though forced me to make a trip at least every week for several years until his demise last year in August.
Back to the dream... this place that seemed so different from home sat on a slight hill somewhere was a green ocean of growing crops or grass on one side, a tarmac road and a divine valley that extended the green sea some more and held this massive water body.
...do you see it?
My fear of water as much as I love its ability to calm my nerves was still very vivid in this trance so I have seen myself sitting by its shores.
This went on for months such that it felt rehearsed every time I woke up to recall the same dream. Or the nightmare version of it as home has always held a bit of trauma for me.
...the revelation
And as I am sinking onto the waiting floor with the coffee mug still in my hand, my mind wires it all up for me and the dream becomes my reality. Did I lose you there? I'll explain.
The dream represented my home as is but I honestly couldn't interpret it as such then as I have always looked at home from one perspective - a hostile one. And though in my dream I was enjoying the home environment, in reality, I wanted and still want nothing to do with it.
But thanks to setting some serious boundaries today I go to my farm almost every other week but I was last home back in November last year.
And so the desire to pursue farming had me manifesting for land but fate would have my soul calling a farm closer to its family home, home.
...this is the field of opportunities even before getting a farm had crossed my mind... my farm now is right in the middle of this valley.
My farm sits in a slight valley that is just hundreds of metres from the place I should be calling home. My grandfather's final resting place. There is a sea of green on one side that extends across but this one is made of tea.
...an extension of the green sea
To make things even more out there, there is a massive water body sitting a few thousand metres somewhere east of my farm and it is responsible for quenching everything around it, especially the valley I now fondly call the fields of opportunities.
...the blind spot
I have never been able to merge the dream and my truth even after it stopped right about the time I managed to lease my farm. And I feel like I couldn't because of this indisputable ability to look at my home as somewhere I would want to be but everything made sense this morning.
This happens often when I allow myself to dream and in that regard, I believe that everything we want is within our reach if we just reach out.
wambuku w.