The weekend is halfway through and Saturday night is readying to transition to the second Sunday of April. My tired bones are as restless as my scheming mind and these words are the result.
...Point of View.
Everything is weighing me down. The current inflation on consumer goods on this end has my reserves dwindling fast and my adjusting finances are pushing me to keep up. The rainbow has been missing from my sky and left my world enveloped by a shadow. I want control over what I am also aware I can not be allowed to steer by fate or the universe.
Hear me out.
The mother in me aspires to give her brood better at all times. It is a way for her to appease the little girl within who grew up with lesser than enough and it also serves as her way to redeem herself for her past missteps.
As she strives to be as productive as possible, her empathetic side drowns in a sea of her piling expectations. Time fades away into days and weeks and months come and go as the scribe in me waits for such allegiance.
...Chaos.
This is where I get lost. My inability to spill what needs to make room for the unrelenting refills that sprout from my depths suffocates the artist within. I switch into a functional mode and smother my poet when she asks for time.
Because writing for me is a way to release what my lips have imprisoned, I tend to feel sick when I can't. My words disguise themselves from me and reading evolves into a tedious task as I can't concentrate on the sentences my soul is to capture.
Art then becomes a burden I want to leave behind or pass over.
...Breaking Point.
Then... The therapy that comes with penning a reflective thought strays away from home and the demons that stay at bay thanks to it revisit. And when my dysfunctional version is left in charge for a minute or two, everything goes to hell.
You should see me crawling back to using metaphors and lyrical verses to climb out of what I can only term as an abyss.
That said, it is clear that the art stays... And I feel like it's time I diversify how I will benefit from my interests. And for I decided to slow down on working with rehabilitation institutions for the sake of my mental health, farming takes most of my time so I am thinking of filling up the remaining hours with something fun.
I have always wanted to do some DIY projects and after a weekend at home, I am sure it is what I will be targeting next.
...Realizing a Dream.
I moved in July last year and sadly, we are already making plans to make a final move; we need more space for the two homeschooling children and the two of us working from home. I need four desks, three beds, a coffee table and two corner ones, a resting couch and a new set of seats.
If I manage to do this, I guarantee myself quality at a cheaper cost considering I want to use hardwood. Furnishing a house here with my pin interest ideas would take a while and dent my wallet ridiculously. Who wants that when there is an option?
Now all I need is 70 dollars to get myself a drill and forge a path.馃攩
wambuku w.