I mean, come on, when the sun is shining, Scotland is one of the most beautiful countries in the world. I certainly think so, and that is all that matters. For I Matilda said so.
But it will soon be vanishing, the scenery I mean. That is one thing about train travel, the hedgerows, the trees, oh fluff even the sheep and the grass, everything goes flying past so quickly. You want to reach out and touch it, but you can't.
We are on our way to England, to Macclesfield to be exact.
I laughed remembering that someone called me pedantic and one of their nicknames for me was pedant. That nagging feeling in my head won't go away, who on earth calls me a Pedant?
It has been too long since I was last in Macclesfield. In fact, I was knee high to a grasshopper the last time I was there, and strange as it may seem, I can't even remember how old I was. How silly is that!
Five?
Six?
Surely not as old as seven.?!?
I certainly don't remember going to school in Macclesfield and people are always telling me that I don't sound English anymore.
Well of course I fluffing don't, I am 82 years young you know, and when we left Macclesfield we moved straight to Scotland where I have stayed ever since. That is where I have been for seventy-something years! So I speak Scottish, well wouldn't you after seventy-something years!
If I left England and moved to Scotland then why I am on this train heading to Macclesfield now?
My parents are dead, I don't have family there, I am sure I don't have friends there. So what prompted me to catch the train this morning?
I remember sitting at home having my breakfast. My neighbour that nice Tengo man brought me my morning paper like usual. I know that, because I looked at the cricket score. New Zealand beat England by one run. One fluffing run can you believe that? No, I couldn't either.
I asked him to do my dishes, and while he was doing that, I nipped into his apartment and took some raspberry tonic. You know I swear he is a numpty, every time I go there the tonic box is always filled up. So I know he doesn't know I take it!
You don't get to be 82 years young without learning a thing or two! He is a strange one that Tengo. Do you know I hear him on a Tuesday night talking to himself? Then he tells me he is doing a show on that Interwebby thing! Seriously, what kind of show is that, where you just talk, talk and then are quiet and then talk again.
What a fluffing liar, I mean come on what does he take me for?
Oh look there goes another train. I love going on trains. I am feeling a bit peckish, I think it is time for one of those sandwiches mother made this morning. Oh wait a minute, where is my luggage? I know I put the sandwich in the suitcase.
Oh no, I must have left it in the house this morning. Whatever shall I do next. I don't like making a fool of myself. I really don't.
Oh wait a minute, there is that nice lady. I remember now!
That is Mrs T and yessss, she is the one that called me a pedant!
But what is she doing here? And why is she looking at me and saying Tengo the whole time?
I tell you, that pair are as fluffing crazy as each other!
"Where have you been Tengo? I have been looking all over for you."
"Who are you talking to?"
"You, silly!"
"But I'm Matilda....!"
"Oh wait a fluffing minute!"
It’s a strange and scary sensation to suddenly forget your own name…
"I swore I was Matilda and I was travelling on a train! How did I get here Mrs T?"
"You must have left the house this morning."
"But I thought it is time for the show?"
"No that is tonight, so let's get you home and fed before that show of yours tonight Mr T!"
"Do you remember you made chicken soup earlier? I think you went out to get some bread to go with it!"
By Hook or By Crook I was going to make sure I did this, and this is my entry for By Hook or by Crook - Dreem-WOTW S2 R2 hosted by the wonderful 
Photo taken by me at Kirkcaldy Train Station.
