He had completed a long and productive period of study. Readings, meditations, reflections and deep conversations were important parts in the quest for knowledge that closed a cycle. The Old Man, as we affectionately called the dean of the monastery, reminded me that theory without practice is a forgotten remedy in the drawer, since it loses its reason for existing because it does not cure. "Knowledge only translates into wisdom when it is lived in all our relationships," warned the monk to his disciples. I saw myself differently as if I possessed an important tool, looking for the best opportunity to use it. I questioned the old monk by asking him what would be the best application of my gifts and talents. He was entertaining at the pruning of a rose bush; as always patient with everyone, looked at me over the glasses and said: "I do not have such information. Any decision is important and it is not advisable to transfer it to anyone, however dear and well intentioned the interlocutor. The power to decide fate is, or should be, very personal. Do not renounce the freedom that life gives you in your decisions because in any way, whether following your heart or the logic of others, you will not escape the responsibilities and consequences; therefore, you are wrong or right for your truths. Life imposes you to walk as the only way to understand the Way.
Not satisfied with the answer, I argued that I saw nothing wrong with asking for advice with the intention of clarifying my decision. This time the old man did not raise his head and suddenly replied: "Just a tip?" He paused and continued: "Take a sabbatical. Travel to renew the clothes of the soul, breathe other airs, live with people who have a way of living different from yours, a different view on all things. Nothing more enriching. I think this way you will find the answer you are looking for. Do not be frightened if you find her numb within you, waiting for you to have the courage to bring her to life. "
So I crossed the ocean and spent another season in the village of Song Starlet, native shaman of the People of the Red Road. I was received by all with the joy of always, I had cultivated good feelings in my previous stays. The shaman had traveled to participate in a Council of Elders and would return in two days, time that was taken advantage of to know the news narrated from all sides. I had changed a lot and used every conversation to fit an illuminated word or a deep thought. When Starry Song came back I knew quickly of the admiration that I had managed to start in the whole tribe. He heard many compliments about my metamorphosis but did not utter a word. In the night he invited me to smoke from his inseparable stone stove pipe, in front of a small bonfire under the mantle of stars.
We were silent for a long time until the shaman said, "Not everything that glitters is light." I wanted to know what he meant and he was sincere as usual: "I heard a lot of compliments about you. Everyone in the village is sincerely impressed with the changes that have taken place, whether by always well-placed words or by gentle attitudes. However, the discourse generally reaches where we still do not get there. " I took the opportunity to mention, not without obvious pride, that it was time to put all my learning into practice, in order to help humanity for a better world. I listed some urgent possibilities, such as engaging in struggles to combat infant mortality in Africa, deforestation in the Amazon Rainforest, or extinction of whales in all the oceans of the planet. Song Estrellada looked me deep in the eyes and said: "All these jobs are urgent, invaluable and lack courageous warriors. However, it is necessary to understand two things: one, there are infinite ways to collaborate for a better world and all are valid; two, know the time and be ready to face each of the different battles. "
I claimed that I considered myself ready and interpreting the words of the whole tribe as an unequivocal proof of my abilities. I also argued that all that life requires of us is courage. He smiled with compassion and said, "Ahoo! Yes, may courage never fail us, "he breathed before continuing:" Nor wisdom. One step at a time, Yoskhaz, "he advised me. "How long have you not visited your family?" The shaman asked, which surprised me. I answered that some years ago, because I always had a difficult relationship with my parents and brothers. Song Starlet arched his lips in a slight smile and said: "Every family is a workshop of readjustments and refinement. Not only because of the ancestral debts that oblige us to exercise the deepest love in its varied aspects such as forgiveness, renunciation, wisdom, patience and compassion, especially because the eyes of the family are more rigorous in relation to our edges . Often they know us much more than outsiders. A speech with beautiful words and effective phrases have the power to enchant more easily than those that come out of the background. In intimacy we reveal the worst of us. Adjusting the family ties that were undone in the wake of time forges the character of the warrior, polishes the mind of the wise and ennobles the hearts of the children of the Great Spirit.
"What's the use of going out to watch the world while your house burns in the fire?" He asked. I replied that I would be being selfish by placing the individual before the collective. "There are priorities and hierarchies of urgency. First do your homework, then save the planet, "he explained. "Just as knowing ourselves better makes us more understanding with others, it is the perfection of family relationships that will give you the compass of the world. Sooner or later we will have to move beyond the good impressions that all easily reach in relationships without depth, "he concluded. I ended up confessing that I was not encouraged to look for my family, because there was a long history of misunderstandings and that I sincerely believed that nothing would change. I realized that I had found the perfect formula for the problem: timely and quick visits on festive dates, within the limits of what I called the good-neighbor policy. Song Estrellada smiled again as I perceived that my open heart revealed feelings that did not match my easy and beautiful speech used when returning to the village, in the illusion of tools that I imagined to dominate. "Do you realize now how you have to perfect and strengthen the spirit before you fight other struggles? The unsuspecting warrior is easy prey to the shadows of disappointment and discouragement. The battle of reconciliation with yours is part of the greatest battle of your life, the one that interweaves every day within you, to illuminate your own shadows, in the arduous task of sharpening the sword of wisdom, forge the shield of character and spread the carpet of flowers of the best love. "
Unsatisfied not to hear what I wanted, I argued that the intolerance in my family was enormous and that I felt more comfortable with the friends that life had given me. "It's the great opportunity to offer the best of you to those who do not understand or accept us. To be good only with the good ones? This the weak also do. " I explained that my relatives thought in a very different way from mine and that I would never convince them. The shaman looked at me as if I were a child and said: "Convince them of what? There is no greater stupidity than trying to convince others of our reason. We offer our heart with purity and serenity, as if it were a seed awaiting the rain that will one day fertilize the soil, with the assurance that, sooner or later, the flowers of peace will germinate in the great garden of love. This is the law, Yoskhaz. "
Far from feeling defeated, because my ego secretly nurtured the desire to work on issues that would cause greater sensation in the social halls, I narrated some frustrated attempts and, even as I was roughly treated on certain occasions. Song Estrellada heard me with his patience that seemed infinite and when I finished my regrets said: "You are avoiding the work of removing the mud that imprisons you and, therefore, you grant any apology. Of course you will face the mistrust and pain of your relatives. They have known you forever and there are disagreements still without light. Your most noble intentions will be put in check and your values tested to the limit for the finest refinement of your soul. Thank you for this, steel can only be forged in the heat of the fire. "
I told him that some people in my family were very harsh and would surely humiliate me. I did not want this kind of situation any more in my life. Song Starlet arched his lips in a short smile, passed the pipe and looked at the stars. He knew that at that moment we were sailing in the depths of my being. The shaman said to me softly: "The border between humility and humiliation lies in allowing us to feel offended by the words of others. If you understand that offenses only reveal what the narrator has in the heart, you will perceive that he is speaking from his essence and not manifesting the truth about yours. Ignoring this will make you feel humiliated and offended, perpetuating the conflict. However, the truth is far beyond appearances. The aggressor kicks not because he is a victim and because his soul is misfed in the darkness that mistreats him. Although he denies it, because he can not see through the veil of pride and ignorance, he is crying out for help. Only those who have walked a little by the ways of love and wisdom can perceive the beautiful dimension of humility. The humble has the power to float on the mat of aggressions. Not in vain, thanks to the magic of transforming into powder stars all and any offense, humility is the first bridge of the Way.
We stayed for some time without saying a word, he grabbed the pipe for a long puff, closed his eyes and finished saying, "To be great you have to be sincerely small before the others serving them by using your heart as a tray. This is the power of humility and one of the lessons of the butterfly that does not fear dragging itself to mature and give value to its own wings.
Nothing more was said that night. I understood that I had to go home and fulfill my destiny that began in the cradle of this existence. A family is not formed in vain and you have to understand why. It was time and place to offer the best of me; exercise and improve my learning; to strengthen the spirit in the face of the inner difficulties, which are the hardest, for they will reveal truths that I do not know about my essence; expand the limits of my heart and leave it with the door open for whoever wants to enter; transmute my feelings and ideas continuously as they can always be different and better. Finally, rebuild the house that was demolished-my family. It was one of the most difficult lessons. Only then would I be ready to conquer the world.