Nullity

As the sunset a little over 6pm, she had an overwhelming feeling of nullity, inadequacy, tiredness, and helplessness. All of which where weighing on her almost like the invisible weight of the world, literally.

Upon getting home, she fits the key into the lock, gets into her room, and falls into her bed, exhausted and desperate for release mentally. Shortly after, out of the overwhelming feeling in her heart, warm tears begin to pool and fall down her cheeks, letting out everything she had bottled up all day, week, month, years, hell! all her life.

'What's wrong with me?', she yells out to no one but herself, as she holds on to her pillow tightly against her chest as if for dear life.

But nothing is wrong with her you see,, neither is anything right. She's just tired of everything, feeling stuck, pretending, missing people, being alone, dreaming of a life she can never have, remembering, of being angry, she's tired of being tired. She is tired of nothing.

What does she want?, just someone to be there and say to her that everything is okay, everything will be okay.

But no one comes, and no one calls. After shedding a sea full of tears, she realizes after all these year of waiting, and knows now that she has to be strong for herself, by herself. Only she can fix herself up. Maybe one day when the heavens hear her, God will finally let her be happy, and things will become easier and simple. She would no longer need to be helped.

However, for now she goes to sleep hoping, and wishing while being strong, that day could be today.