oh man, it’s frustrating, it really is.
i miss it so much, writing, making, vlogging, learning.
while i’ve been doing a few little experiments and adventures in BSV recently and learning a few little simple productivity hacks i’ve really yearned to get back into blogging.
like properly, properly.
i used to write so much on my me.dm blog, unhindered by the outside world and the constant processing of city life — the escape for the rural life replaced a lot of that city energy with a kind of low frequency hum, knowing it was there in the background but never breaking the noise floor of life enough to create time, abstract i know, but i guess it’s just a momentum hack.
Photo by Alora Griffiths on Unsplash
now that i’ve got new equipment, broken in the keyboard and have portability of movement with a laptop i feel like breaking out the keyboard and writing again should be a regular thing. i’ve still got so much to say and write about and well the last year and a bit of pandemic has uncovered a bunch of things.
some that i’m still very much working on, especially when it comes to allowing myself to freely write, i do phase shift between thoughts of survival vs abundance — some days are off the chart survival and some are like everything is christmas decorations and brandy snaps (memories of a kids growing up time at grandparents and the local town yearly traveller takeover!)
being able to identify the future self has been a big one, where i’d like to be, what skills i’d like to have without the “box” that society puts you into when you become “a thing” (coder, etc) has been interesting to say the least.
I’m not sure if that comes from the ego centre but i have a natural aversion to join and be pigeon holed into “oh he does that” — i know that speaks volumes of a supposed self image and vanity maybe but i really do think i have many stoic traits below the surface and i much prefer just becoming the ontheground team in nature now.
still very much enjoying the crypto space, the fact that it reforms, re-engineers itself, new projects pop up that surprise and delight, like mira and chia, that the conversation about climate change and crypto and power creation and coal usage is now a daily talking point, how that’s dove tailed into actual interesting dialogs about the “demand” that these blockchains will have for renewable energy and can drive that whole market place - super enjoyable to watch.
certainly walking a nice equilibrium and balance that i had been missing for a while and i think that stems from almost a self created bubble that happens during the pandemic, the ability to not get things delivered, waking up, knowing i’d have to use the very last basics of my food stores, that access is not always guaranteed and the apathy that we self impose and surround ourselves with, delivery is not assumed!
it’s been interesting to see how those walls of personal belief just crumble once one objective that you set so high starts to vanish like the end credits of falling rocks in the labyrinth film. another one cascades after each other, realising that it was held up by my own personal speculation on the economy of myself.
ill fitting tetris life blocks, orientated with abandon, but making up this patch work of ill feelings, discomfort and internal blockage. I’m happy to see a bunch of those fall away, often leaving again a blank canvas but the willingness to go again is still there, i don’t want to focus on one thing and be good at that no matter what it might change in my society life.
I want the augmented life version more, the long tail of a staked human in a digital realm, the on demand nature of it all, a way to align your day to day meat sack with the robot version of you that will never complain and will just blink away in a data centre somewhere until you wake — or maybe you won’t and eventually it will be waiting for your next of kin to take the position.
time to flip the script on saturday eh?
humble x
