i have these moments all the time, i’m sure you do too.
in fact, at times, you can be really hard on yourself about it (a dangerous thing) and push so hard to try and compact so much into a day it can end up effecting your mental health (so don’t do that) instead, goals that ARE achievable, micro transaction yourself.
if there is one thing i’ve learned (and still learning) is that it’s up to me to fracture and micro manage myself (in between episodes of zero focus and clarity) if i’ve got ten hours ahead of me like today that does not mean i have to be solid working through them all and crash in bed at the end of that, not much reward in that.
in can feel like a stranger looking inwards at the things you’ve not achieved or put in place yet. people will just tell you to work more, harder, achieve more money, buy more things.
life is way way more than that thou, that can only bring so much into your life.
the more important thing i’ve found is people who you love and trust around you, they become your life force extension, pick you up and set you right again. put you on the right path once you wander from life’s trails.
Photo by Laura Lauch on Unsplash
that’s not to say that everyday i don’t look at the material stuff and wonder why the heck i’ve still got all this stuff, why i don’t have the tools in place to fix the diy jobs i’ve got to do — i guess it’s all just a personal scale of economies right.
but also, being able to look in like a third party is a powerful life trait too. I can point precision look at the areas that need a lift, how my actions previously garnered results (but maybe not like i expected) and learn from that.
Learning to adapt and adopt new ways of working with the mental capacity and financial constraints, it’s certainly a skill i’d ask anyone to improvise and have in their life toolbelt (i’ve got a thing for tool belts btw, bit like the one chewbacca has but instead of ammo mine would be full of skittles)
in a imperfect world (with us trying to make our bubble perfect) it can feel like a futile attempt to actually get anywhere but it’s all worth it, if nothing else, it’s exercise. Keeping the engine of the human body going is just as worthy as the end goal you had planned — installed regular behaviours, things we can effect, things we can change = clarity.
for a few weeks there i just had war and negative outcomes flying around my head, work seems so fickle and pointless. I’d gone to place of “just let it happen” whatever the outcome maybe but i realise now that was a fools folly.
The best thing i could have been doing is powered through that until the actual outcome was realised — until then, you’re just trying to be a predictive polly. Nobody cares about polly the parrot of the mind, put it back in the cage, feed your body some other narrative!
time for me to crush some hours of tidy up around the house now, i’ve got cardboard boxes and cupboards full of crap.
i need to fill up a bucket of nice hot water and some heavy duty cleaner and go at it, get everything a little bit more hygiene level than the day before.
try and make the moments matter, remember, if you are gonna get a playback of this shit in the end, it’s important to fill it with the best show reel you can!
humble x
