Parentally-sourced trauma.
I was writing about the bio-pic Michael and how traumatic childhoods might be a driving force for some people to develop brilliance in a skill, but I am unsure how many parents would actually adopt that as a parental strategy to raise their children. However, I also think that too many parents today have swung too far in the opposite direction, by not introducing enough discomfort in the lives of their children. So as Smallsteps is having a group of her friends coming here for the day, I have announced that it coincides with;
Underwear Day!!
A day where Smallsteps parents are going to shamelessly walk around in their underwear all day, even though her friends are going to be here. However, what I was glad to see was how Smallsteps responded to this new celebration of embarrassment. For a split second, she protested but before she was even into the second word, she pivoted to;
That is okay, you can wear your underwear only. I don't mind.
"I might go naked sometimes too"
If you want to be known as the weirdo naked man, that is fine also.
This is the right response to a trolling parent.
Since Smallsteps doesn't have any siblings, I have taken it upon myself to play the role of childish tormentor, because I believe that it is a big part of growing up to have healthy understandings of human behaviours. Because despite people physically maturing, a lot of people don't actually emotionally or behaviourally mature much at all, which is why so many workplaces are more like kindergartens. Understanding how people behave at a young age, gives the foundation for lifelong interaction.
But again, a lot of this learning landscape has been removed from childhood by lower rates of birth and overprotective parents who think that removing all obstacles and discomforts from their children's lives is going to lead to a better life for the child. I don't believe it does, which I think is evidenced by the absolutely massive spike in emotional and psychological disorders in children, who are now well on their way into midlife phases, still struggling like teens.
Age is just a number.
Because without experience, we don't mature mentally and emotionally and will keep on employing childish strategies to deal with adult problems. And when these attempts don't work, the response is just as childish, because the person thinks they were doing the right thing for the circumstances and have no clue as to why it didn't work. This means that they are then victims of circumstance, and feel victimised by life despite doing the right thing all the time.
Discomfort is a good thing, as it is the way we learn pretty much anything of value. It doesn't matter if that is playing the piano, eating a new type of food, or building the emotional resilience to deal with parent-sourced embarrassment, it all takes some level of discomfort. The things that don't cause discomfort like sitting on the couch watching a screen still teach us, but what it teaches are things like physical and emotional atrophy. And as you should be able to guess, will lead to discomfort as the capabilities of the individual will not be suitable to deal with the conditions of the future.
Of course, while I think that it should be, underwear day is not a real thing and I am not planning on being in underwear or naked around a group of kids. However, having Smallsteps consider the ramifications of it and how it might make her feel, is lesson enough in this regard. I want her to learn how to deal with all kinds of people, not just those who fit into her comfortable frames who don't challenge her to learn and grow.
Anyway, with five screaming 10 year olds soon to arrive (they are good kids), I am going to retreat into the basement and clean it up as best I can, in the off-chance I will get to paint the floors this summer.
See - I can avoid discomfort too.
I should put some pants on.
Taraz
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