The nights are now below freezing, so despite the protests of my body saying rest a little longer, I chose to do some of the necessary tasks in the garden before it gets too late to do so. The biggest of which was mowing the lawn for the last time, but I skipped raking all the autumn leaves first and instead just chopped them into the grass with the mower. Not ideal, but a necessary evil this year. Then I had to take in the umbrella and noticed that I was too late with the hose - it was leaking - which means it has frozen and cracked the fitting, but I can fix that next spring. There are still a few things to do, but they can wait until a bit later. Thankfully, despite being a little tight, my legs have held up okay under the pressure and I might even make an appearance at the gym later.
While I was working around the house, I started listening to a book called "Born Lucky: A Dedicated Father, A Grateful Son, and My Journey with Autism" by Leland Vittert, which has so far been quite an interesting story. Essentially, it is about a guy who was born autistic but instead of labelling him as a victim, his parents took the approach that in order to have a full life, he would have to learn to adapt to the world, rather than expect the world to adapt to him.
Refreshing in today's environment.
The other thing that stood out so far in the couple hours I am into it, is a quote along the lines of his father "always pointed to the two standards of character and work ethic, because they are within your control". This stood out as it was just last night that I was talking about my own standards and character traits, and "good character" in general.
From a young age, I have been against the labelling of people as victims, yet this is something that for the last decade or more has become not only a common practice, but celebrated. It is one of the driving forces of identity politics where people are encouraged to divide themselves into increasingly finely sliced labels in order to both differentiate to feel special, and as an excuse for whatever shortcomings they may have. Essentially, it is "I am special because I can't", instead of I am special because I can.
It is a race to the bottom in terms of human potential.
Not everyone subscribes to this mentality, but the majority do, and the incentives lay in activating that majority to behave in predictable ways. As a result of all the finely sliced labels, it means that no one really fits into any group now, because for every label they have, there are a thousand other labels that are in conflict, and often, one individual has labelled themselves with conflicting labels, depending on the case.
However, what I am more interested in hearing about in this book is around the topics of adaptation into the environment, rather than trying to design the environment so adaption isn't required. As I was writing about "resilience" the other day and how most people have seemingly shifted their understanding of it to be resistant and are therefore maintaining the status quo instead of embracing uncertainty, the idea of adaptation to the conditions is frowned upon. It is a "be yourself" approach as if "the self" is something that cannot change, and is a victim of circumstance with no agency.
We are always changing.
Everything is. And that also means that us having a prefrontal cortex that can evaluate, predict and imagine a future, means we have the ability to change ourselves to meet different conditions, or create different conditions. We are always "ourself" no matter what we do or how we behave - it is inescapable. Yet, we also get used to using phrases like "he isn't acting like himself" and "I don't feel myself" as if what we are experiencing is not us. It is us. Always.
This also means that all those labels that we ascribe to ourselves needn't be the labels that define us in the future, even if that is what happens now. We can behave differently, but in order to do so, we have to have the will to go through the change process for those changes. If we are waiting on the world to change to then change us, we are giving up our human ability to be our own guiding force. we are making ourselves a victim of the world, a victim of others, a victim of circumstance, a victim of ourselves.
While I am not autistic, we are all on the spectrum, because that is how spectrums work. But since the stroke I have observed in myself some traits that would be pretty common for those with autism, especially in social situations. It is a strange experience for me, because even in observation I feel the sense of "this is not me" yet know that this is now me. My behaviours have changed due to the shift in the way my brain functions, but I recognise that I am not a victim, I have to adapt. I don't expect people to make concessions for me, because that is not how the world works in my mentality.
In my head, adversity is a gift.
It forces adaptation for survival, but it can also be a weakness if it is used as an excuse as to why we can't do something, or to explain away our bad behaviour. Adversity is a gift when it is used as a force to help us grow, not as a reason as to why we can't. This doesn't mean ignoring all the factors that led us into today, or believing that everything is our fault if we do not overcome our challenges. It is about recognising that there are those two things that we can affect, our character and our work ethic, and if we consistently change ourselves to improve, we are on the right track. The results will come or they won't, but they are outside of our control.
Under the grass, are grassroots.
Taraz
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