We keep a few doses of naloxone at our apartment just in case people party too hard.

Don't you find this pretty wild? But I get it.

I use the excuse of my teenage trauma of sexual abuse, but it is just lazy justification rather than putting in the work to deal with my issues.

It is laziness, but it is also the way we are wired. We aren't made to deal with trauma very well, which is why the conditions affect us so much. In a perfect, untraumatising world, perhaps there would be no addiction.

It's caused issues in my marriages, relationships with family and friends, and my ability to show up for myself.

And these all have impacts too. it snowballs and turns something manageable, into a mountain. It is happening to more and more people in many different ways, and more will fall into the "can't cope" categories and turn to avoidance of some sort. Unable to show up for themselves - and no one else willing.

Nothing lasts forever, but we'll see what type of clarity I get from this latest pause.

An interesting journey so far?