When we think about substance abuse, it is likely that certain kinds of things come to mind, like alcohol or drugs, but we tend not to think that much about it from the perspective of why we are abusing it, which is often some kind of avoidance. Because once that is taken into consideration, we can look at the "substance" as any content we use to avoid dealing with whatever we are avoiding. The list of things to avoid are numerous and can differ across individuals, but one thing is clear, our human ability to create levels of protection for ourselves, is second to none in the animal kingdom.
There are lots of substances we can use besides alcohol and drugs, like eating, scrolling digital feeds, gaming, work, exercise, sex... the list goes on. Essentially, nothing is bad, until it becomes so - meaning that these activities aren't inherently bad, until the volume gets up to a point that it creates problems in other areas. Like how eating in excess too often is going to impact on the body, mind and emotions, and the more it happens, the higher the impact becomes.
What is your substance of choice?
Maybe we are all abusive at times, where we use something to avoid having to deal, think or feel about something now, and perhaps at times, it is actually a good thing. Because sometimes, acting immediately in the frame of mind we might be in, might not be the wisest decision. Stepping back for a bit and getting our head space clear first, like stepping back to see a wider perspective, can help - but breaking that emotional reaction with a little avoidance, might be a necessary step.
But, I think that the "substances" we choose these days are often so highly accessible that it is easy to habitualise and make them part of our daily activities, so that instead of being the occasional avoidance mechanisms when we are overwhelmed, they are everyday avoidance mechanisms we use whenever we feel uncomfortable. We keep conditioning ourselves to avoid more and more. And obviously, if we were drinking daily, we would probably see that as a problem, yet we don't see scrolling through scrolling Instagram in the same way - even though it serves the same purpose, and can do a lot of harm.
As I was discussing with a potential client today, I see us split into three main components at the core, physical, mental, emotional. Each of these areas can be improved, but they can also be neglected. And, each of them can also be exposed or protected from stress. It is obvious that when we exercise our bodies we are going to strengthen it, which is applying controlled stress and that exposure and practice helps us load more stress, without feeling it. We also know that we learn mental skills and the more we learn, the more ability we have to understand and problem solve - this is also a stress process.
Yet, when it comes to emotional stress, rather than learning how to cope and adapt, we pick up a phone or a drink, or a drug, or a whatever - and avoid the learning process. Essentially, by avoiding dealing emotionally and improving our emotional skills, we are neglecting one third of ourselves. But, it doesn't just make us 1/3 less capable, because when one of the components is misaligned and unable to cope, it impacts on the other two, lowering the ability in all three areas.
Just imagine solving a maths problem, while having a finger cut off with scissors.
Even a simple maths problem becomes difficult. And this is ultimately what we are doing when we ignore dealing with our emotional condition, avoiding difficulties - because what happens is that the "pain" is still there, and it impacts on the way we think, and the way we behave. Whatever is traumatising our feelings, isn't contained only in the feeling centres, but leaks into the mental and physical parts also.
A bit like osmosis.
OSMOSIS
In biology, osmosis is the movement of water molecules from a solution with a high concentration of water molecules to a solution with a lower concentration of water molecules, through a cell's partially permeable membrane.
When any of the three components is experiencing a high amount of stress, unlike osmosis, it isn't going to dilute the other two. Instead, the other two are going to increase their stress levels as well. What this means is where for instance the mind is stressed, the body will react, as will the emotions. They aren't going to look to calm the mind, they are going to instead wind the stress levels up further. Similarly, if the emotions or the body are wound up, it will also negatively effect the other two.
What I think we need to do instead of avoiding what troubles us, is understand what mechanisms we are using to avoid, and then working backwards to then start looking at what the causes are, why we are doing it, and then what we need to do in order to change the need to avoid in the first place. It is pretty easy for the physical and the mental. Because if we are avoiding something physical because we don't have the skill or strength, we just have to practice the right things to get stronger. Same with mind, where we are able to improve our knowledge in a particular area.
It is the emotional one that most of us struggle with, which is also part of the reason that it is so easy to avoid emotional problems, because one of the things we have been avoiding, is the problem of working out how to stabilise ourselves emotionally. But really, it isn't that hard either, as it is the same approach as the body and mind - exposure to the right kind of stress, in small amounts, continually. There is no cramming for the test, in the same way it isn't possible to get 50% physically stronger overnight.
What's your poison?
What mechanisms do you use to avoid difficulties, and what excuses do you have to justify using them? Is the avoidance helping you by giving you the space, or is it hurting you by taking away the need to deal with it? Eventually though, all that pain catches up, because avoiding it in one area of the self, will force the other two areas to come up to the same level.
This could be the body's in-built mechanism to say,
Listen.... Fucking fix me.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
