For the second time in my life, today I will wear a bowtie. They call it a "mirri" in Finnish, which also means cat - I suppose because it is a bit like whiskers. I didn't own a bowtie because I am not a hipster or a sommelier, but had to buy one. Anyway, I have to wear one as the dress code for a wedding we will be attending.
Dress code for a wedding.
I get it. Seems so normal. But I think that there should also be a curb put on demands for people to celebrate special occasions. The dress code should be, dress like you are at a fucking wedding. If the bridal party want to coordinate, the parents of the couple, that is fine. But the guests should be expected to dress appropriately, but not be forced into a particular style. The entitlement irks me a bit.
It is all so performative.
We didn't have a wedding, but there is no way I would have guilted people into wearing something specific. And I don't think I would set a dress code at all. People would of course dress appropriately and those that don't, well that is for them to deal with. People are adults - let them get dressed for themselves.
Having said that, I have seen some pretty daggy (unfashionable, untidy, scruffy, or lacking style) wedding attire at some weddings here, and I quite enjoy it. It isn't necessarily age specific, but the younger folk are dressing better. I think it is more historical with the older people, where they actually remember and lived through harder times, or parents who lived through them. It meant that a celebration like a wedding was where you dressed up in the best you had, and enjoyed the company, regardless of how it looked. As a result, the best people had varied a lot.
I enjoy the variation in what people wear and how it contrasts with others. It fills the room with more colour, more interest, and can provide points of conversation, or ridicule. But there is narrative and story involved. When everyone is wearing much the same, it all becomes beige.
After much humming and harring, my wife has decided to wear a dress she last wore when she was eighteen. That is over half a lifetime ago for her, and it still looks good. What is funny perhaps is that some of the friends at the wedding might remember her wearing it, as it was for her school graduation - that makes it more interesting. Thankfully, this one is very simple pink satin and doesn't have puffy sleeves or sequins.
I am a little bit suspect about how some of the other women are going to feel about it, since there is no way in hell most of them are fitting into their old graduation dresses.
So, since it is a three hour drive to the town it will be held where we will have to spend the night in a hotel, I likely won't be around much today, but will check in once back in the room. Perhaps I will drop a picture in the comments of us dressed up in the symbols of tyranny and coercion.
I would be a terrible sommelier.
I like all the red wines.
Taraz
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