Imagine going for a jog along a quiet path that winds through the trees. The sun has gone down and twilight is coming to an end. Lights dot the trail casting enough to see where the path turns but to the sides a darkness quickly stretches into black nothingness.
Now, imagine you are a woman.
If you are a woman, I think you probably understand my sentiment regardless of whether you yourself would be scared in such a situation as you likely realize, many would be. Getting off a bus or train into a darkened street, walking to the car in an empty lot and having someone seemingly to follow.
The other day I wrote a post about it being more difficult to raise a daughter and this is part of the reason why for me. Running along that trail, I do not feel fear other than for twisting an ankle in the dark but, unfortunately for many women in this world, this is a near daily occurrence. There are of course times when men are also in situations to fear but generally, it is not every day.This makes it hard to empathise but, compassion is possible. For me, compassion is the component that tries to understand other's situations and act whereas, empathy is listless and naive in understanding the limitations.
Why this makes it harder for me to raise a daughter is that I would of course want her to be safe, as I would a son but, there are some considerations that are different in some ways. Rape of boys and men is much, much rarer than that of women.
Now, rape of anyone is one of the most heinous crimes commonly perpetrated and of course should be eradicated completely but, that is unlikely to happen any time soon, if ever. I am not raising my daughter to live in a idealistic fantasy of a world as she will be operating in the real one where fair or unfair, bad things happen and being somewhat prepared is infinitely more useful than avoiding the discomfort of having to think about these things. Security itself is an illusion that should be dispelled from the mind in my opinion.
Some people say, I can't imagine or I couldn't live with myself if something happened but, they must imagine it of something does happen and in all likelihood, they will also live on rather than take their own life. Thoughts of revenge against and punishment of the criminal will also arise if something happens but prevention or avoidance of such situations is of course better. The more I think and write about this, the more I feel that I have to think and write more about it.
I have had friends that have been raped by strangers and people known to them and the known rape is more common. But of course, this isn't just limited to rape. I have had friends that have been in abusive relationships and have been scared to leave for years. None of these friends are men. But, I do know men who have raped, been put on trial and were convicted. These were not friends, but some of those they raped were.
This is of course not fun to think about for anyone and if it is, go see somebody. But as a man, I feel I have to think about these things as it is something I am unlikely to feel. As a parent with a daughter, it is my job to raise her to be able to take care of herself and if I omit some part of that because of my own discomforts, I am failing to do my job in my eyes.
How to approach this though is difficult itself as I am largely unprepared. Honestly, I wish I never had to think of these kinds of things as I wish that these kinds of things never happened. But again, that is not the reality of the world, past or current, and the future doesn't look like this behaviour is going to come to an end in the next few decades.
Even though it is easy to blame men for this since they are the majority of perpetrators, this is not useful in the long-run. Condemning an entire group based upon a small percentage of members within is quite damaging but, men themselves need to also take a major role in ending/reducing these kinds of instances.
To take that role requires thoughtfulness and development. This is what I am attempting here for myself and whoever reads these posts. Unfortunately I do not have the power to stop violence of any kind in this world other than that within me but, I may have the possibility to help some people avoid it.
Taraz
[ a Steemit original ]
