These days, ordinary and simple things inspire me the most, to think and to write. On the other hand, due to the current situation my life is much less busy and more introverted. I'm not used to it, because I love to socialize.
I talk, a lot, I even joked with a friend today, that I can't wait to get some mail delivery, to.. You know, TALK to the mailman. I'm getting desperate.
I talked with my child from the first day, as if he was an adult. I remember clearly, we were still at the hospital when I started talking to him. But not in a cute and baby language, but more something along the lines:
Hey baby, welcome to the world. What do you think about it? Not so bad, right? So, we should get home soon.
And from that day on, I tried to talk with him, not to him. I asked random question, talked about the weather, politics, food. He of course didn't understand a word, but he would always "answer" to my questions with some vocalization (when he started vocalizing).
To this day, I try to encourage him to use his words when he wants something. I point at my mouth and say:
"Look at me, try to use your words" (and please stop rolling on the floor and crying).
Ok, I don't say the second part, but I do mean it. And he is really trying. I would love for him to be able to clearly say what he wants, his entire life. Of course, being careful not to hurt anybody while doing so.
Why do I want that, you ask? Because I can't do it myself. Those who can't do, teach..
I wasn't taught to recognize what I want and state it. I was taught to listen to my parents and be an obedient child. No tantrums and opinions were really allowed, because it was considered as "spoiling" someone. So, all up to my twenties I was the "what's the problem - nothing" kind of girl. I wrote recently about the importance of silence and stories, but let's be honest, our life would be much easier if we would just say what we want.
I have nothing against someone being angry, my kid included. I think kids have the right idea when it comes to emotions. They want something, they can't have it and they get mad. Like "screaming bloody murder" angry. But it lasts so short and they go on like nothing happened. Every article on that theme revolves around the same subject:
"Children can't control their emotions, they have to learn it."
But what if we learn it too well? Is there a difference between controlling emotions and blocking them all together. There must be a healthier way. We can learn something from the kids, don't you agree?
With love,
Tamara and screaming toddler