You're definitely making progress and with your resilience, I think it's just a matter of time before it all pays off well eventually. Hopefully it will happen sooner than later!

I think the safety of 9 to 5 can really be underrated against the uncertainty we now currently live in with the digital age and the work opportunities it offers. Sometimes and often, you'll do a lot of work and have little to nothing to show for it, whereas in a typical 9 to 5, you're at least guaranteed that the pay will come, one way or another.