You can just express yourself and still find people impressed without any intent whatsoever on your part to impress them.
Most people are fairly simple creatures despite the aura of complex mystery that they project with their actions/behaviour.
Apart from the mystery part, which I can only speculate on and noticed within a distinct category of individuals, the most understandable argument I've come across so far on why complex actions are ultimately simple is this: Complexity is a facade created via layering simple, repetitive steps.
I mean, I ask why do we need complexity in human interactions at all, when simplicity achieves the same, if not a better, result?
For me, one of the most striking, tangible example of this "complex action/behaviour" is elaborate social avoidance.
This is not the person who sends a polite "Sorry, can't make it."
But individuals who almost consistently cancel plans last minute and offer a different, convoluted story each time.
Some of the familiar ones are a sudden "urgent work crisis," non-specific "family emergency," an ambiguous ailment that only an obscure herbal cure can address, etc.
Funnily enough, the latter is where people actually start to see through the pattern.
The bottom line of sorts here is they expend significant mental energy constructing and performing this intricate narrative when they could have just said "no."
And I think the root of this elaborate performance is rather simple and can be sourced via fear of disappointing others or an inability to set a boundary.
They believe they must offer a complex reason because a direct "no" feels inadequate or rude. To me, that reason is still merely a shield built out of anxiety and all that effort does not matter because the end result is the same as the simple action.
We could stop believing the audience is analyzing the subtle nuances of the performance. They are primarily interested in the result, not the process, and are just noting the final score, so to speak.
The audience, whether it is a single or close group of friends or the general public, is affected by the ultimate outcome of our actions, for the most part.
I've noticed again and again that nobody remembers much of my elaborate reasoning six months later. They remember whether I showed up or didn't.
Usually, the complex behavior fails to impress because the simple truth, which here is the ultimate action or lack of action, overwrites the detailed performance every single time.
Simply because as humans we're quick to move past the specific dramatic excuse and focus on the pattern. Patterns are what stick in memory and we track reliability and not creativity in excuses.
Most if not all complex human action is ultimately rooted in one of three simple, universal needs: safety, connection, or control.
You can break down any seemingly complicated behavior and find that the person is merely trying to maintain control over their environment, seek connection (attention or validation), or ensure their emotional safety from judgment.
In some cases, a person with the elaborate social avoidance is seeking to protect their time and avoid the judgment they fear. The former may be legitimate, although the method creates more problems than it solves.
Thanks for reading!! Share your thoughts below on the comments.
