In this part of the world, there's an inherent perception that you have to make something of yourself and the more time that passes or rather the older you get, this perception starts taking the shape of a cloud of sorts that pretty much follows you wherever you go, especially when you haven't met certain milestones that society deems important, on the top of the list being building visible wealth.
Earlier in the day, I had this conversation with an elderly lady who was lamenting about some of her relatives that have spent more than half a century abroad yet still couldn't have their own place to live when they immigrated back into their home country and had to resort to staying with family members.
The disappointment in her voice was palpable, as if their situation was somehow a personal failing, life poorly lived.
To provide some context, this lady also emigrated abroad but didn't suffer a similar fate, she did well for herself both abroad and her home country, which I presume gave her the authority to judge others by her own standards of success since her accomplishments became the yardstick by which she measured everyone else's journey.
My mind however, connects it to pretty much working in a company for 50 years and then leaving the company without any benefits whatsoever other than the experience accumulated, albeit this one is more on a national/personal level.
Because of the experiences gained, I won't say it's wasted effort but being that old the chances of dispelling this proverbial cloud of judgment and disappointment is very slim. What were they doing all this while?
Sleepwalking through life? Partying instead of saving and investing? Lack of plans or life getting in the way of their best intentions? Did they face medical emergencies, support family back home, navigate discrimination in foreign lands, or earn just enough to survive in expensive cities?
There's a broad range of what could have seemingly went wrong here.
Although I do understand where the elderly lady is coming from with her concerns and her protective instinct about what constitutes a life well-lived, I still think she's just projecting her own fears and measuring everyone against her personal definition of success.
She being in a similar situation like her relatives would've been a nightmare come true. Good for her that her path worked for her circumstances, timing, opportunities, etc. but that doesn't make it the only valid path.
I personally wouldn't perceive them that way after having this tidbit of information about their situation.
Without knowing their full story, who am I to judge?
Unsurprisingly, I did received some unsolicited advice from her to not end up that way and what she basically said was to make sacrifices and take risks.
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