Constantly managing expectations of yourself and of other people, who also have expectations of you which is different from the expectations you have for yourself is arguably a tough territory to navigate.
All expectations have to clash with the reality of life and the battle is more so between fighting to bring what could happen against what is already happening, assuming also the could is feasible enough to become reality.
Expectations of yourself is much easier to regulate, compared to that of other people.
I don't know how it has become second nature of sorts that our expectations of people develops via observation and based on what we think/believe what their potential/capabilities is, which is also based on our own values and what we would do in their position.
Perhaps, it's because we see glimpses of what someone is capable of in their best moments, and we unconsciously hold that as the baseline.
This opens up quite a minefield if a divergence of ideologies ensue.
People change their mind all the time, it's part of interacting with reality and accumulating experience points.
Oftentimes, we aspire to change for the better, to do great things and contribute meaningfully.
But the path to "better" isn't universal, in that what looks like growth to me might look like compromise to someone else.
However, one man's breakthrough is another man's breakdown. The metrics we use to measure growth or just basic effort can also be deeply personal, shaped by our histories via personal journeys into this maze of life.
As a perpetual striver, my striving for better changes tends to spill over into the expectations I place on others. I project my internal scoreboard onto the people around me and tend to catch myself measuring their dedication against my own, forgetting that they're running a different race entirely, on a probably different track and with different obstacles I can't see.
I admit it's very naive of me to think the standards I have is also the standards those whom are considered close to my heart should naturally share or adopt.
They didn't sign up for my particular brand of ambition nor agree to climb the mountains I've chosen to climb.
The hardest lesson is learning that loving someone doesn't mean wanting more for them than they want for themselves. Rather, the most supportive thing you can do is meet people where they are without projecting where you think they could be.
I need to hammer into myself to keep recognizing that everyone's bar is arguably exactly where it needs to be for them, right now, in this moment. There's no job title that says I have to be their coach of sorts, be a mirror and conscience.
Just their companion is probably more than enough. Walking alongside and not pulling ahead then looking back wondering why they're not keeping up.
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