Sometimes, positive peer pressure is having your former classmates, who've now turned into family, box you into a corner where you really have to consider, plan, and take action towards the next stage of your life.
They say you're the sum up of the five friends you hang out with, and when most of the friends you associate with are getting married, for example. Then the probability of you getting married is exceptionally higher.
But then, how would you discern between what you genuinely want to do and what you want to do just to please the tribe, to keep this sense of belonging and not be ruled out as the odd one?
In such moments of social pressure, it's easy to forget that timelines are personal, not universal. Having said that, I think there's profound strength in acknowledging that we're all experiencing the same set of experiences but with different variations.
Having to do something generally implies there's little to no choice with regards to the timing or circumstances under which it occurs.
At the same time, you always have the agency to not yield to external pressures, provided you're brave enough to honor your authentic timeline and withstand temporary disapproval.
Rebellion for its own sake mostly yields temporary relief but lasting confusion, as true independence comes from clarity not defiance.
Discovering whether you genuinely want to do something requires introspective work, to shut out all the noise in a world obsessed with comparison, and ask yourself deep questions on your core values versus adopted ones.
In many cases, adopted values aren't consciously chosen but absorbed through prolonged exposure and subtle reinforcement.
Everyone has a plan until they get punched on the face, against that backdrop of considerations and discernment between external validation and internal alignment,, there's the reality, not as your mind makes it to be but reality just as it is.
What if timing matters more than tempo? How would you reconcile the tension between opportunity and readiness when they aren't synchronized? Or find certainty in a decision that can only be tested by living it out?
Of course, I'm not trying to overcomplicate a situation that already seems complicated. On the surface, there's an appealing simplicity to following established patterns that others have validated.
It isn't always necessary to forge entirely new trails when the existing ones might genuinely lead where you want to go.
Marriage, like most endeavors of genuine value worthwhile in life, is simple yet hard.
One of the hard parts is basically reconciling idealized expectations with everyday reality, choosing the same person under ever changing circumstances.
For the most part, peer pressure is temporary. So also is the discomfort of standing apart and the validation of fitting in.
Once the decision is made, the direct consequence of either path is that you alone will live with its fruits, whether bitter or sweet or bittersweet.
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