What I see- I see a window not opened for ages, I can see cobwebs showing the place not used for a long time. I can see unused plastic bottles, chemical jars, and a tray for processing. I can see various plastic and metallic particles lying used or unused. *
What I feel- Right now negative memories in the house than anything worthwhile. To me, it no more even feel like a home to live in right now. Maybe an abandoned studio of an artist or photographer in a scenic surrounding.
This house almost broke me when my partner Suzi left me. There were more than a few times in the past years when my wife wanted to leave or walk away from this house in the Blue Mountains near Three Sisters in the Jamison Valley.
Oh, how I loved this place when I bought it about 10 years before in the Jamison Valley. I was so much interested to be part of the members of the wonderful Katoomba tribe. I loved beautiful ladies, young, sweet, and full of life in that area. I had fallen in love with Suzi, one of those lovely girls and her family. I knew she was interested in me, and that was so thrilling.
And soon we started looking for a house. We drove down around the town and the valley and one day I heard her say ‘Oh my God, this looks like my Dreamhouse.’ I said, ‘Well if you feel so, or wish on it, it’s yours.’
I remember the time how we moved into this house and how we decorated every room, every wall, the floor, and how we added bursting pipes, plumbing, and electrical systems, etc.
I set my studio in the sunroom, and all set to work on my paintings and photography. Life was fun and joy for the next two years when I suddenly realized Suzi was no more willing to live with me. One day, I found she had gone back to her parental house.
I felt like I had lost interest in life and my work, so I moved back to Sydney. I wanted to sell this house, but then the memories of the time I had spent with Suzi kept me from doing that. I visit this place from time to time, thinking she might probably come back as silently as she had gone.
I don’t know what I should call myself a brave or stupid, it’s just a fine line between the two and I guess I’ve crossed it several times during the last three years ever since Suzi has left me.
Today, I am standing at the door of my studio looking at all the used items in this room, the dirty curtain, cobwebs, and a glimpse of the valley from the dirty glasses of this window of my old house.
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