Transpander Fest

Last night on CNN, 2020 Democrat candidates for President of the United States came out as Transpander.

Now, don’t confuse this with transgender. Transgender is when you say you identify as a sex that you are not.

Transpander is when you identify as whatever audience you happen to be speaking to.

When someone is Transpander, he or she will wax lovingly about God and salvation when speaking in a church. But then, when speaking to a collection of LGBT-MOUSE at a CNN town hall, will declare churches who oppose same-sex marriage must be stripped of their First Amendment religious freedom.

I’m not sure if there is a psychological term for Transpanderism. Perhaps “Desperate Candidate Disorder.”

Transpanders are known to vehemently oppose the consumption of meat while appearing at a CNN town hall on Climate Change then instantly transform to down home carnivores when appearing at an Iowa steak fry.

It’s almost as if the Democrats are trying to lose to Trump in 2020.

Other than weary travelers stuck at the airport and conservatives hoping to glean unbelievably insane video clips, I don’t know if anybody watched last night’s CNN “LGBT Town Hall.”

But then again, does anybody watch CNN anymore?

And there were oodles of insane video clips to be had. I saw tons of them on Twitter.

Kamala Harris started off by providing her pronouns: “She/Her.”

Which came as a surprise me to. I was expecting her pronouns to be “Top/Tier.”

Beto O’Rourke won the prize for “Candidate most likely to say the quiet parts out loud” when he proclaimed that any religious institution that does not adhere to the religious edicts laid down by the Federal Government and allow same-sex marriage would be forthwith stripped of its tax exempt status (though probably not Mosques).

Sure, it violates the First Amendment. But this is the guy who “hell, yes,” wants to violate the Second Amendment. So nobody was at all surprised.

Meanwhile, Senator Cory Spartacus vowed to prevent white supremacist terror attacks like the one at the Pulse nightclub in 2016.

Because we all know when Omar Mateen shot up the Pulse nightclub he declared his allegiance to George Lincoln Rockwell.

Wait… that’s not right.

What was utterly surprising to me was Grade A Transpander Liz Warren didn’t recount that terrible time she was fired for being visibly transgender. I guess she was off her game last night.

She did, however, assume that the only Christians who oppose gay marriage are men.

https://twitter.com/i/status/1182653450099798017
- i

“Well, I’m gonna assume it’s a guy who said that.” Sure, Liz. Only men oppose same sex marriage for religious reasons. I’m sure that will come as a shock to the Little Sisters of the Poor.

But listen to Transpander Liz’s vitriolic nastiness towards people of faith.

Because when you’re busy pandering to gays, you have to attack Christians. Of course next time Liz campaigns at a church, she’ll transpander again and pretend she doesn’t despise Christians. Unless of course she’s at a Unitarian church.

Frankly, I don’t understand why CNN keeps airing these town halls. Don’t they want a Democrat to win in 2020? Giving voters yet another chance to see just how extreme and authoritarian these pandering prats are seems like a tremendously bad idea.

But keep on doing it, CNN.

In your desperate attempt to give the 2020 Democrats an opportunity to pander endlessly while embracing Identity Politics, you’re giving normal Americans another reason to cast their vote for President Trump.

David Harsanyi
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@davidharsanyi
Every time I think Trump is done for sure I watch a CNN townhall with Dems and change my mind.