this idea is impossible to even consider, I imagine.
That's the most honest, heartfelt response to it because it is unbearable and pulling oneself back from the other side, at times, the pain is unbearable to even comprehend one still has the strength to do it. When I go there, I'll play music for days to try and remove myself from the pain, I may only have the strength to play the same song over and over again, but whatever it takes, it's a long journey back sometimes.