I came back to this thought after having been prompted by something. Back when I was younger, when my kids were in toddler age, every now and then I'd find a sitter and go out for a nature call if it had been awhile and I wasn't seeing anybody. Even if I was seeing someone (dating) I never exposed them to my kids other than someone who was just a friend. I just wasn't wanting my kids to end up having multiple dads type of thing.
Well one time I went out this guy came over and sat next to me at the bar. I'd had seen him around a few times before when I use to go to the bar more frequently before I had kids but this was the first time he'd ever came and sat next to me. I immediately got up and walked away, he was just unattractive to me. Maybe, being today, life experiences and all, I may have sat there and had a conversation with him if he struck one up, but back then being young, things just don't jive with you like that, and he'd been like sitting there having a conversation with Homer Simpson's boss. That's how unattractive he was. All things being equal, I am sure many guys have looked at me in the same manner, somehow I just don't make their clock tick. But this guy took the thing to a whole new level I could have never imagined and he was able to do such because of the position he held that I wouldn't find out until years later what his position was.
I'd never had any reason to dwell back on that night I got up and walked away from that dude, didn't even enter my mind on a few occasions every now and than having felt like I was being stalked. I'd even question my own thoughts on it because I, like I said, really didn't get too involved with guys when my kids were growing up so how can someone stalk you. There were only two guys I had even left get close to my kids but once they weren't around anymore, they just weren't that type of person to be a stalker.
Fast forward to years later when my brother had gotten out of prison, the cops thought they had him hold up in a house after he killed somebody. I went down to where they had him supposedly hold up a few blocks from my house and as I am walking up to the police barrier around the area this cop looks at me. It was him. He started busting out laughing. After all those years there was no doubt mistaken because Homer Simpson boss look alike aren't that common.
After that incident the feeling I was being stalked started to deepen, and I wondered if it could be him and how could I not only convince myself it's him but others, especially given his status and them believing him over me. First though, I had to figure out if it was just me being paranoid about being stalked because that takes all doubt from within yourself it was happening.
The next time I felt like I was being followed I came upon an area I was quite familiar with, actually it was the same area near that bar I often frequently when I was younger. I knew at the end of that block there was no curb, so I decided if someone was trying to keep up with me, I could go around that block as quickly as possible, swing around a corner where they couldn't see me swing into that spot that didn't have a curb and turn around to see if someone came rushing up the street after me. It was a rather desolate area back there then to, so it would be rather odd that two cars would follow that same path at the same time. Just as I back out onto the street from that curb-less area, here he came rushing around that corner. Really, honestly, I thought he'd be caught off guard he just got busted kind of expression on his face but he laughed, but he also had another guy in his car with him, I don't know if that person was also a cop or not, it was an unmarked car so I am assuming it was. That person slumped down like they didn't want to be recognized. So, okay, now I know it's him but I don't have a name and was unable to get a plate number.
I was unable for years to do anything about it because of that reason. One day, finally I was able to identify him. Sheer stroke of luck the Grand Rapids Press published a picture of a detective who was retiring with the police department, Det Betts I think his name was. Among the participants at his retirement party was none other than the stalker cop. Wire rim wearing, green striped shirt, full view of his face. I went to the first lady cop I seen and I told her the story, and how she could identify who I was talking about and that I wanted someone to do something about him even being able to patrol my area.
I don't know what she did about it, I didn't see him around my area for a long time. I didn't even see him again until way out in another area going down a main through way, he looked right at me and he gave me the direst look so I assumed by that look on his face he wasn't happy about his new found inability to stalk me as part of his daily patrolling routine.
Have I ever really gotten over the feeling he could be out there, not really, time passes, people forget about things, cops get reassigned all the time, when they look at him for possible reassigned do they remember to recall what he was doing to me, I doubt it, and the one final thing I always think about, is that other person in that car with him on that day, if that was a partner, how could they not know.
Honestly, really, I mean, come on, all the things that men do to women, lying, cheating, or whatever else, I mean, those things are worth getting upset about regardless which sex is doing it, but some petty ass shit of getting up walking away from someone ends up as some life long revenge, that's about as immature as it gets.