She passed away after getting the covid shot. You know, that's kind of funny in itself. The fear of which exist in losing a parent can be frightful even under all the circumstances. When my dad passed away in the beginning of the 90's, a lot of things, which are way to many to try and go into, but in particular, I am trying to think of how to put it, of finally at some level having to accept him for who he really was, which meant ignoring a lot of wrongs, to have some type of an abnormal-normal relationship, that after his death it was more of a relief, or a lifting of a burden off my shoulders having to have always carried accepting his wrongs just in order to have some type, even if it wasn't perfect, relationship to him as a father. In the same sense, maybe to a bit of a lesser degree, I found the same thing with my mom, in that regard I think it was because I was more a mom to my mom than she was to me later in her life, after she had finally quit drinking. It felt more like giving away old luggage you didn't need anymore type of feeling. Like a great burden had been lifted off your shoulders. In the time since my mom's death, I bought my own life insurance policy so that I can be buried unfettered by the thought of anyone wanting to burn me to a crispy, or be buried by, at, or near any of that old baggage again, when I descend from this earth, where ever one ends up at, I'd rather end up alone somewhere than to ever have to transcend to somewhere with them. That's how heavy of a burden was lifted off my shoulders. I understood or understand the mechanisms that were in play of why they were the way they were but for whatever eternity exist out there, the earthly one was enough for me, I just want to rest in peace, literally.