but our "moments" with these people who are gone persist.
Perhaps what sets my mind wondering and wandering is not knowing what happened to them; whether they are dead or alive; whether they are happy and well.

....or you could simply ask yourself why you'd want to compound the issues. If you find out they are dead those will only be more moments that persist. If you find out they are alive and they never reciprocate your endeavor it will just complicate the moments that persisted, it could, depending upon the number of years you've spent with them make those persistent moments worse.