will have to find himself again

Therein lies the key in my opinion. He's never been out on his own "own" he's always lived with somebody, mainly me but for a year and a half with others. He knows whats there is his when I am gone from this earth someday but somehow he has to find the footing to make it his until I am and I think stepping stones in the process is the key, at least I am hoping. I'll take less now and we can work out a deal for you to make it up at tax times when you have plenty more and maybe I can arrange a small bonus of a little less even than as a reward for setting and obtaining a goal. I think it took him some time to ponder it and to work out if he himself felt this was something he could do on his own. I also think he had to stop wanting to hate me because she was wanting to. She kicked him to the curb whereas with me he had to really push it to the limit for me to get there and then even at that I was saying I really don't want to but if I am left with no choice but to let you take me down then I have to. After three months almost of herself out on her own she's realizing also it's not a piece of cake and I am thinking another month or so she's going to realize he was the bigger part of their financial stability...though she loved to run around and tell people she paid everything on her ten dollar an hour part time job plus pay her child support. It's a long story, living with someone so perfect can beat a person down fast. My younger son's girlfriend and I never got along for the first couple years, I didn't hear from him for nine months at one point, then slowly integrated back into their lives and seeing my interactions with my grand kids she saw someone with a huge amount of love and caring. She barely knew her own mom and now she tells me I am like the mother she never had. I believe that love wins and I am not out of the scope to keep working toward that with the other one despite it looking impossible, seven years with her and we still aren't there but there's still that chance that love can conquer all. I don't mean to burden you with all this but your wonderful words above proves I knew exactly who to reach out to help me through this difficult time and I really appreciate your words of comfort and encouragement, thank you for listening. ps...he has gone back to work so that's a good sign.