Good one, @plaid, you almost got me!

I read an article in the paper yesterday...

What is this "paper" you claim to read things in?
Are you a time traveler?
Does this "paper" you speak of have a "puzzle" of "words" that are "crossed"?
I suppose you are going to tell me next that this "paper" has a weather forecast that one is supposed to read once and remember for the whole day!?