I know one, do you want to hear it?
What is the meaning of that word to you? Secret. To me it's something you keep to yourself. Once you tell someone it's no longer a secret, in my opinion, but let's check the definition to get a clearer picture.
The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines "secret" in these ways:
OK, so it's still a secret if you share it with "a few", eh? I'm not sure I believe that. I mean, once you say it (or once it's said to you by someone else) it's no longer "hidden" and therefore not a secret.
Plus, once you share a secret with someone, even if you trust them implicitly, can you really be 100% sure they will not share it, even with their closest confidant?
And once that third person knows, all bets are off 📢
Also, if someone is telling me a "secret" about someone else, I can almost guarantee that they have told others as well.
Someone tells you some gossipy secret about someone else and tells you not to tell anyone. You don't. Then later they come to you because someone else asked them about the secret they told you (and likely told others) and now they are upset with you saying you told others even though they told you not to say anything blah blah blah...
I do not. When someone says to me, "I've got a secret to tell you but you can't tell ANYONE", I tell them to please not tell me, I don't want to know.
There is an exception to this of course. If a close friend wants to share something they need help with then I'm all for it because I want to help them with their problem if I can.
But if an acquaintance or co-worker asks if I want to hear their secret I always try to stop them. Problem for me is, most the time these asshats don't respect my wishes and they tell me anyhow 😑
Most of the time it's not a big deal because the secret is some bullshit that they just want to gossip about.
However, there are times when the secret is a BIG one, one that may affect someone else close to you or lots of people, and these are the one's I'd rather the person kept to themselves. Again, if they are telling me because they need help working out a problem, and they let me know that, I'll listen and do my best to help them. But if they are just telling me because it's big news I can wait until the news comes out to everyone else.
The secret I was told over the phone the other day, by the owner of the café I work at, is that the café is closing it's doors (going out of business) in two weeks. Now, before you judge whether you would want to find this out like I did or not let me go over the circumstances surrounding his admission.
I had given my two week notice a couple days prior, after the current manager gave his notice. We are already under-staffed and that manager was kind of the glue holding the staff together as the owner had recently moved from my town in Oregon to Texas. When he moved it really felt like he had abandoned us as he use to work all the time. Anyhow, the manager gave his notice, the staff kinda freaked and I knew it was time for me to skedaddle as well.
I texted my notice to the owner and his partner and the next day I called the owner to thank him for the opportunity and to clue him in on a few things that I thought he should know about the direction the café had taken since he moved.
Well, during the course of the conversation he says, "I've got something to tell you but you can't tell ANYONE."
I said, "Just don't tell me man, it's fine, I don't need to know."
He says, "You'll find out anyways, we're closing the café at the end of the month."
Now, I was supportive and talked to him for a while about it and that's probably what he needed but FUCK DUDE! I already gave my notice and won't even be working there at the end of the month but now he's put me in the position of knowing this piece of information while I still work there! Meaning I have to hide this from my coworkers for the balance of my shifts. Fucking ridiculous. And when he tells the rest of the staff the news, what if he mentions that he already told me!? Now I look like an asshole for not cluing my coworkers in so they could start looking for other work or whatever.
Maybe I am looking at this wrong but it sure seems selfish and wrong for him to tell me this info, and require I keep it a secret, while I'm still employed at his business.
Oh well, now I've told you so I'm part of the problem I just complained blogged about ;)
Maybe from now on when someone offers to tell me a secret I should say, "don't tell me because I will 100% tell someone else". Yeah, I think I am going to try that next time and see what happens. I bet you they still tell me xD
Thanks for reading this, I'd love to hear your thoughts if you have a minute to share them.
