The last couple of weeks have been challenging for our family. Our home has been invaded by a case of the 'terrible twos.' Little Man is full of energy and sweet love, but there has been a strong splash of defiance added to his demeanor as of late. Frequent tantrums have become a new norm (and not a norm that we like).

For our family, home education starts the moment a child is born. Granted, there is not as great an emphasis on formal learning and curriculum at birth, but there is a "passing along" culture that develops between parent and child - a dance of human interaction.

From day one, children live life with others. They see, hear, and experience a variety of social interactions and life lessons.

The following are some of the lessons we want Little Man to Learn:

Image by 192635 from Pixabay

Lesson #1: It is ok to be upset

Feeling anger is a common human emotion. It is expected. With Little Man, we don't want him to feel like he can't be angry. We want to teach him how to react appropriately when feelings of anger boil up to the surface.

I think this lesson will take some extra time to learn (and patience from mom and dad). Right now, when Little Man gets mad, he has a few classic "go-to" moves.

• Run down the hallway and hit the wall
• Run into the pantry and shut the door (it does not matter if the lights are on or off)
• If in a sitting position, he falls backward and hits his head on the floor (thank goodness he has a low center of gravity, and we have carpet).

We don't want to stifle normal human emotions. But we do want to help him establish positive ways to react when he is upset.

Lesson #2: Sometimes it is hard to communicate what you are feeling

For now, Little Man communicates mostly through his actions. But as he gets older, he will be able to communicate better with his words.

As parents, we need to remember that communication (especially when angry or sad) is learned and practiced. My wife and I need to make sure that we have reasonable expectations regarding how our 2-and-a- half-year-old communicates his feelings.

I think there are two important points to remember:

• The entire family needs to show good examples of communicating in all circumstances, including when we are tired, upset, and sad. Little Man needs good communication role models.
• We need to show grace to members of the family who cannot communicate clearly, whether it be due to age or personality.

I still experience moments where I am tongued tied. The point is not to deliver an eloquent speech but rather to hear others and be heard.

Lesson #3: We use our hands to serve and love

As Little Man acts out in anger, he sometimes reacts physically towards other people. Although not common, he has swatted at others when he is upset.

Just like our words, our actions are impacted when we are upset. Our hands are tools that can be used to show kindness or anger.

We have a saying in our home: "Our hands are used to love and serve." When Little Man tries to use his hands in ways that can harm himself and others, we repeat this family mantra.

As parents, we have a great opportunity to model this principle. Do our children view our hands and arms are tools of kindness or weapons?

Lesson #4: Sometimes we need to step away from the situation

This principle applies both to Little Man or another member of the family. As parents, it is important not to cross a line that you can uncross. There are have a few occasions where my wife or I have stepped away for a few minutes to gather our composure. There have been a couple of times that we call the other spouse out before a situation escalates. This gives us a chance to calm down and refocus so that we can address the situation with patience and love.

Although Little Man has not been stepping away with a controlled attitude, he needs to see the pattern and start living out the pattern of acknowledging when he is too emotional (in the moment) to discuss how he is feeling.

A few moments away can make a much-needed conversation more fruitful! Remember that the goal is not to step away to avoid a conversation but rather cool down to have a conversation.

Lesson #5: Learning to do life well with others is important

Little Man is the youngest of a half dozen kiddos. He is extremely blessed to have five older sisters. They love him dearly. He loves them as well, but there are moments when my kiddos don't see eye-to-eye. Let's be honest; there are many moments when we don't see eye-to-eye with other people.

Being a family is one of the greatest social experiments ever invited. Throwing a bunch of people into a home together for hours upon hours sounds like great TV, huh?

Because we are social creatures, we need to feel a connection with one another. We need to learn to compromise. We need to live in harmony with each other.

Although Little Man might only be 2 and a half, there is an expectation that he (and every other family member) learn to live with each other in harmony and love. That does not mean there won't be disagreements or obstacles. There will be lots!

But there is an expectation that we strive to love each other, serve one another, and uplift the other members of our family.

<h1Final Thoughts
Teaching a moody 2 year is no walk in the park. We have up days and down days. We even have some days with a roller coaster of ups and downs.

But I am reminded that intentional parenting, parenting with purpose, reaps rewards both today and a long time into the future. I hope that Little Man grows up to be a wise, caring man someday. I hope that the time and love my wife invest into him today will be life-changing.

I want to hear from you:

1. Do you think parenting a two-year-old or a three-year-old is more challenging?
2. What advice do you have for parents who have a child experiencing the "terrible twos"?

Thanks for stopping by!
@sumatranate