I have been around long enough to see my fair share of Disney movies. The classics may not have state-of-the-art graphics like modern movies, but they sure did have some great lessons.
The movie Bambi teaches a great lesson about choosing kind words. You can't have a great show without a great friendship. An energetic bunny rabbit, name Thumper, befriends Bambi. Throughout the movie, we watch Bambi and Thumper grow up and even fall in love.
But their movie-worthy friendship was not without its challenges. Bambi, a white-tail dear and the film's main character, was having a hard time getting used to the world he was born into. Learning to walk and talk is challenging for everyone, even cartoon deer. And in a movement of unfiltered thought, Thumper pokes fun at Bambi, the future prince of the forest.
Shortly after that moment, we hear one of the movie's most recited phrases.
Thumper: "He doesn't walk very good, does he?
Thumper's Mom: "Thumper?"
Thumper: "Yes, Momma?
Thumper's Mom: "What did your Father tell you this morning?"
Thumper: "IF YOU CAN'T SAY ANYTHING NICE, DON'T SAW ANYTHING AT ALL."
And there we have it. A simple cartoon tells all we need to know about choosing kind words.
Image by Yogendra Singh from Pixabay
I don't know your family's tolerance for "bad" words, but I was raised in a home where certain words were never spoken. You know? Those four letter words.
My wife and I believe that words are important. Although we may know the meaning and context of certain words (age-appropriate, of course), we do not want them spoken in our home. We want our family to use words that build others up, not tear each other down.
Per our custom, we spend some time with several other families every Sunday evening. First, we share a meal. Then we encourage the other families that join and discuss our shared faith and values.
Of all times and places, there were rumblings that an "unspoken word" was spoken.
Parents do so many things to stand between their children and the outside world. Parents stand in the gap as protectors. As homeschooling parents, we live in the gap as primary educators and influencers. We stand in the gap regarding what words and ideas enter our homes.
This post is less about what words should or should not be a part of a family's vocabulary but rather about what to do when a child has heard (perhaps accidentally) words that are not usual or deemed acceptable.
My job as a parent is to protect my kiddos and help filter what comes in. But equally important, I have the responsibility to help my children process unlovely things that slip by.
Our nighttime routine with our older kids is to talk about the day. Our time with the other families was a hot topic tonight.
In situations like this, I try to obtain a level of certainty. My oldest thought she heard someone say something that should not have been spoken. Through context and confirmation (a second earwitness), certainty was established.
Kiddo #1 approached the situation with facts and statements. Kiddo #2 confirmed what had happened.
Kiddo #3 was broken. My Little Pumpkin feels life deeply. She questions why a person would choose to hurt another person. She struggles with unkindness directed towards herself and others. Sometimes the unlovely things that happen in life cause her to want to retreat and pull away.
My family tries to live by an important faith principle: "Just because we are in the world does not mean we should act like the world."
We try to love, show kindness, and value justice, even when others choose not to do so. We want to uplift and edify when it seems everyone else prefers tearing people down. We do not want to default to how everyone else acts and behaves if their actions and behavior are not honoring to others.
This next part is important. My family and I mess up all the time, and we mess up big. We want spiritual principles and faith values to guide our lives, but we often miss the mark.
It is during those moments of our shortcomings and when dealing with the weaknesses of other people that we can grow in honor, respect, and love.
Kiddo #3's natural response is to pull away from the unlovely things in life, build an emotional protective barrier that keeps "all of the bad things out," and live as a hermit.
I get it. There are days that I want to crawl up into a hole and close out the rest of the world. I want to block out the junk and protect myself.
Thumper's Momma quickly reminded Thumper to use his words to be kind and caring. Tonight, as we processed the events of the day, my job was to remind my kiddos to be kind and loving even when they do not feel the world is reciprocating with care and kindness.
As parents, we must choose A) the words we use and B) how to respond when others do not choose kindness. As parents, we are uniquely equipped to empower our children to do the same. The life lessons we teach today make a difference in the moment, but they also build the foundation for future interaction in a world that sometimes is unkind.
I want to both protect my children and teach them how to respond when life is challenging. What a wild line to balance!
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