I have never doubted our decision to home educate our children. I firmly believe my wife and I will create the best environment for our children to learn and develop.

That being said, there are challenges and obstacles to any learning philosophy. In this post, I want to talk about two motivators that I have found challenging to harness in a home education environment.

Image by David Mark from Pixabay

Authentic Camaraderie

There is a common stereotype that all home-educated students are socially awkward. While some home-educated students may fit into that stereotype, I met many students who were equally awkward while I attended public school.

Fact: My children do not spend hours of their day with hundreds of children their age.

It is important to realize that physical proximity with other children/peers does not automatically equate to social awareness and acceptance. I believe that my children's interaction with people from multiple age groups has allowed them to develop socially appropriate ways to interact with others.

A close family friend often comments on my oldest daughter's maturity level. He is impressed with how she handles herself when interacting with adults, so much so that he has already offered her a job next summer. At 14 years old, my daughter knows how to elevate herself to adult conversations, embrace child-like wonder to play with younger siblings, and carry on conversations with kids her own age.

But when she is doing her daily school work, she is isolated from other students. Based on how I see my children interact with each other, I see where this could be most challenging for the oldest daughter.

Despite this challenge, she continues to want to homeschool. Although very social, my daughter appreciates the opportunity to learn at her own pace (speeding up and slowing down as necessary). She also appreciates the freedom and ability to dictate how her day will progress.

But doing schoolwork without peers can be challenging. My children don't have a "classroom friend" (in the traditional sense) to ask questions to and interact with. There is no time spent at a locker between classes. Lunchtime is family time, but friend time.

As parents, my wife and I try to foster authentic camaraderie in the following ways:

1. Connecting with families who have shared values.
   This most commonly occurs when my family attends church. But as I mentioned earlier, physical proximity does not guarantee social connectedness. Building camaraderie requires both time and effort. Although more challenging for our introverts, it is a rewarding experience when our children authentically connect with other kids their age.
2. Connecting with families who have shared educational philosophies.
   Finding a handful of other homeschool families can be such an encouragement - both for adults and children alike. One of my oldest daughter's best friends also homeschool. Although they are not in the same grade, there is an unspoken understanding of what it means to be home-educated, including the challenges and joys!
3. Connecting with a like-minded organization.
   My wife recently discovered that there was a home school association in our area. Connecting with a larger organization (no matter how structured or formalized it is) can provide much-needed camaraderie for both educators and students. Although we have only known about the co-op for a couple of weeks, my family has already attended a tour of a local farm (including camels), my oldest daughter has joined a local homeschool choir, and we have learned about some standardized testing opportunities that will prepare my oldest for college.

Feeling alone can be devastating to many students and educators. Finding camaraderie and ways to connect can bring new life to your "homeschool academy."

Some of you may be asking, "What happens if I do not have the opportunities and resources you referenced above?"

I realize that in many places around the world, homeschool resources are limited. But don't give up. Just because you have not found what you are looking for YET, does not mean that you will NEVER find what you are looking for.

Healthy Competition

I graduated second in my class in high school. Growing up, I always thought that I was a self-starter. As I have reflected, it is more appropriate to say that I strived when I had other people to compete against.

My children do not have that benefit in the traditional sense, at least not daily. But to be perfectly honest, I know that an openly competitive environment would not benefit all of my children.

But there is something to be said about the ability to measure success, whether that be ...

• against other students at the same educational level.
• against a prior personal achievement or score on an assignment.

We live in a world that is hypersensitive to social media validation. Many people, our children included, are susceptible to dopamine fixes that come via likes, shares, and upvotes.

I believe that running to either extreme is dangerous. We should not try to find our complete identity in these outside measurements of success, but we cannot avoid these types of measurements completely if/when they propel us towards success.

Healthy completion for our students can drive them to meet their goals in life. As parents, we have the opportunity to teach them how to use competition in a healthy, not harmful, way.

No Two Student Are The Same

I want to end on a cautious note. I have learned that my thoughts are just that - MINE. I have been shaped by all kinds of experiences that have lead to this exact moment. My life experience before marriage and having kids impacts me as a husband and father today.

Although I hope that my general conclusions are good for most, I understand that they might not be good for all.

I appreciate everyone who takes the time to read my posts, offer words of encouragement, and challenge me on what I say. I appreciate the camaraderie and competition (in the form of constructive criticism).

I want to hear from you:

1. How do camaraderie and competition fall into your family's educational philosophy?
2. Name two activities you participate in that foster camaraderie with other students.
3. What does healthy competition look like to you?

Thanks for stopping by!

@SumatraNate